FF9 Characters in FF7
by Aqua Myu aka MasterVivi
Summary: As title suggests,FF9 characters in FF7..kinda wierd, read at risk of losing all sanity. [Now includes even MORE FF characters. oo] MWAHAHAHAHAHA! update: 5-29-02 ch.10 is now up! so! go! read! now! woo! 6-28-04: moved to FF crossover category. o.o Ooh.
1. Insanity Begins

**WARNING**: You _may_ just want to skip to the story, and not read this insaneness below.

bwahahahahahhahahaha..um...evilness...um...ok maybe not.  
Strangenessssssssssss! ooo! ok this has a bit of FF7 mixed with FF9.  
This'll be strange...and maybe...sporkie!  
(((evil cow laugh))) moowhahahahaa..ha...ha?  
ahem, no I'm not really insane...no really...!  
Just hypeeeerrrrrrrr. h-y-p-e-r.  
Ok, while I am at it--

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own FF7 and FF9...oh wait, yes I do!  
I mean, my FF7 and FF9 game is mine, and, and...(((gets arrested)))  
WHAT! It IS MINE! Ohhhh ok, I get it. I phrased it wrong..

Ok, ok,...I did not create the FF7 and FF9 games.  
I do own the games, a copy of each game, but I do not 'own' them as in I created it and...  
blah blah blah...and...blah,...and let's not forget...blah...  
and oh yeah, can't forget this: I did not create the games and...  
ok, the point is Square Soft made the games. Happy?

… What! Nooooooo take me back, I don't wanna go to jail!  
Or _wherever _you people take people who uh, claim they own certain video games or stuff or..or...

…But I said what I was supposed to..!

NO! Don't take me away...!  
(((gets dragged away)))

Ok read the story already...pay no attention to me...!  
GO...shoo! Read the story! Go,...read it...not this..READ IT ALREADY!  
S-…gets dragged away again-orry

**Other: (a note from 5 million years in the futre. ok, maybe not that long...)  
**Argghh. Apparently when I upload files, it doesn't keep the asterisks in! What the crap!  
And as I've always used those to show when a character is performing ACTIONS and such... meh.  
Alright, welp, I guess triple parenthesis shall be used in place of asterisks. Because I dunno what else to use.  
Triple asterisks, because it seems that throughout this story, for the most part, I had made it so that generally...  
double parenthesis is a character thinking, and single parenthesis is whispering/talking quietly, usually muttering/talking to themselves...so therefore, I'll just make triple parenthesis be actions.  
Erm. Should I be using the word "parentheses", rather? ACTUALLY I CHANGE MY MIND.  
Brackets shall be actions. Yes. Brackets... And also, apparently I have some actions or other story tidbits seperated out, and in italics. (((shrug))) OH CRAP MUFFINS. ...Yeah, wait, no I's going back to my /original/ idea, because...this place is dumb about certain keyboard characters. D: arrr. So. Since nothing else will work, triple partenthe..ses...it is!

Anywhos. So, let's recap then, shall we? XD

**How to read my story lawlz**:

(This is whispering/talking quietly..!)  
((This be a thought))  
(((actions and dooding stuff! Stuff happening...yeps.)))

And now welcome to the insanity/retardation that is err...was... my 12-13 year old mind. e.e;

(Also, I think I /am/ insane, don't listen to my 12-year-old lies. ;) yep.)

ahem:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Somehow FF9 characters fall into the world of FF7.  
They land right in front of the FF7 group, team, heros, whateva you perfer to call them...  
More specificly in front of Cait Sith. _

**Cait Sith:** wha...It's raining people?  
(((he looks down from his big Mog and stares at the FF9 characters.  
He shouts through his Megaphone))) WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

**Garnet:** Well we are...

_All the FF9 characters introduce themselves.  
I don't feel like typing all of them introducing themselves,  
so this is what I am typing. _

**Garnet:** Since we told you who we are..may you tell us who you guys are?

**Zidane:** HEY! ITS THAT...THAT...GUY WITH THE YELLOW SPIKEY HAIR AND REALLY BIG SWORD!

**Cloud:** The name's Cloud.  
Not "That...that...guy with the yellow spikey hair and really big sword."

**Zidane:** Ohhh...ok...whatever...  
(((acts like he doesnt care)))

_The other FF7 characters introduce 'em selves... _

**Tifa:** How'd you guys get here?

**Amarant:** Dunno. I'm too cool to know.

**Tifa:** ...ooook.

**Amarant:** Whateva.

**Tifa:** UH I'll just try again.  
HOW'D YOU PEOPLE GET HERE?

**Garnet:** Well...we don't know...we just somehow got here.

**Tifa:** So, how'd you get here?

**Amarant:** I SAID THAT I AM TOO COOL TO KNOW.

**Tifa:** Do any of you people know how you got here?

**Zidane:** We just got here, and DON'T KNOW how.

**Tifa:** HOW?

**Zidane:** Stop asking how!

**Amarant:** I'm way to cool to stop.

**Zidane**: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!

**Amarant:** Oh. Well I'm too cool to know that you _weren't_ talking to me.

**Cloud:** SHUT UP.

**Amarant**: I'm too cool to shut up.

**Cloud: **Oh, really?

**Amarant:** Yes, I am too cool to shut up.

**Cloud:** Well...maybe if I...THROW ICECUBES AT YOU, YOU CAN REALLY BE 'COOL'! BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

_Cloud throws icecubes at Amarant, it seems Cloud is going insane at this moment. _

**Cloud:** THERE!  
NOW YOU ARE REALLY "COOL"!  
BWAHAHAHAH...I am triumphant!

**Vivi:** Huh...? ...you are...are...E-elephant?

**Cloud:** NO! THATS NOT WHAT I SAID LITTLE KID WITH GLOWING EYES AND NO FACE!

**Vivi:** H-hey!

**Tifa:** Ohhhh looks like someone's getting a bit grumpy...  
(((drags Cloud away by the ear)))

**Cid:** Shera! Get tea for the visitors! ...

_Minutes later... _

**Cid:** SHERA! I SAID TO GET SOME !# TEA FOR THE #)&$ VISITORS SO GET SOME !$&#&!& TEA ALREADY! &#(&#$(&#(&#$(Q#$&

**Cait Sith:** Hate to tell ya, but...Shera's not here...

**Cid:** SHERA! GET YOUR-- what...? oh yeah, that's right.  
humph... nevermind...I think I'll smoke now.

**Vivi:** You know, smoking's bad for y-your health...

**Cid:** Do I look like I giva $&#?

**Vivi:** S-s-sorry...

_Vivi looks sad that he keeps getting yelled at _

**Garnet:** Aw, poor Vivi...

**Quina:** Ah, I know what cheer him up...SPORKS!

_Quina hands Vivi sporks _

**Vivi:** uh...t-thanks...

**Yuffie:** (hmmm...is that...Materia that...that Garnet person has?  
HMMmmmm...I must find out...I must STEAL THE MATERIA!)

_Garnet then walks by Yuffie _

**Garnet:** Hey...

**Yuffie:** (((jumps))) AHhh! I, uh, I was just...uh...yeah...definitely not planning to do anything!  
Nope...not me (((innocent smile)))

**Garnet: **ahem. Well... I believe we haven't been introduced yet.

**Yuffie:** Oh...well I am Yuffie, I'm from the town Wutai.  
I'm a ninja and a M-...erm...ACHOO! oh, excuse me.  
(OOooops almost said one too many things...  
I dont want to give away that I am gonna...steal...that girl's materia.)

**Garnet:** Pleasure to meet you. My name's Garnet.  
But you could also call me Dagger, or Sarah. I'm a princess.

**Yuffie:** A princess? (WOW! woohoohay! She must have LOTS of materia!)  
Why do you have so many names?

**Garnet:** Well...

_They talk about this for a long time _

**Yuffie:** Oh, wow...interesting.

**Amarant:** I'm too cool to be interesting.

**Garnet:** (((falls off a cliff laughing, while shouting "YOU'VE GOT THAT RIGHT", which must mean that Garnet is agreeing that Amarant's not interesting or something...she lands in a river, gets carried 20 miles away, lands on the shore...near the chocobo farm)))

**Yuffie:** You...that 'I'm too cool' person.. go away!

**Amarant:** I'm too cool to go away.

_At the chocobo farm... _

**Garnet:** Wow! Look at all the chocobos! I wonder if I can get one...  
(((Garnet buys two of them, buys four stables, and many many hours later she breeds two S class chocobos (of what color, well it is...not mentioned...bwhahahahaha...) and a gold chocobo hatches.)))

**Garnet:** I'm gonna take a ride on this gold chocobo.

**Choco Billy:** Oh-kay doh-kay...

**Garnet:** (((sets off on a journey to get back to where everyone else is)))

_Back at wherever everyone else is _

**Yuffie:** You're too cool to do ANYTHING, Amarant...  
gosh..go away you already got in the way of my plan to st.e...a...l...mat  
...matchoooo! OOPS, I sneezed... (phew...I almost told what my plan was!)

**Amarant:** Well, I'm too cool to sneeze. (((walks away)))

**Vivi:** (((sits there looking sad)))

**Quina:** WHAT? Spork no cheer Vivi up! How that possible! Make no sense.  
Spork make EVERYBODY happy! See? Quina very happy when have sporks!

**Steiner:** I don't think a spork will make Master Vivi happy.

**Freya:** Me either.

**Amarant:** I'm too cool to be happy.

**Yuffie:** (((runs to where Amarant is and knocks him out)))  
Won't be hearin' from him anymore!

**Freya:** Oh...it's happened again.  
(((sigh))) Now we have to take him to the hospital again.

**Yuffie:** WHY?

**Aeris:** Don't be rude.

**Cloud:** (((runs out dramatically))) B-b-b-b-b-b-b-but you're DEAD Aeris!

**Aeris:** Humph...would I be here if I was dead?

**Cloud:** I am so glad to see you Aeris!  
(((hugs Aeris)))

**Tifa:** Humph.

**Aeris:** (((pushes Cloud away))) YOU MORON.  
WHY DIDN'T YOU REVIVE ME WITH A PHOENIX DOWN?

**Cloud:** I never thought of that...

**Aeris:** WELL, I'M MAD.  
I HAD TO STAY IN THE BOTTOM OF A LAKE DEAD UNTIL SOMEHOW A  
PHOENIX DOWN FELL IN THE WATER AND ONTO ME, AND I WAS ALIVE AGAIN...

**Cloud:** (((shudders))) I-i-iiiii sowwy...

**Aeris:** Aw, how could I stay mad at you, Cloud...

**Tifa:** GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr!

**Aeris:** Oh excuse you, Tifa...but it's not polite to be burping like that in front of the visitors.

**Tifa:** ... ((thats not what I was doing, you moron.))

**Steiner:** Hello, umm...ok, what's your name?

**Aeris:** Aeris.

**Steiner:** I'm Steiner.

**Aeris:** um, hum, I see...  
(((takes her staff and hits Steiner really hard with it, Steiner gets knocked out.)))

**Freya:** Not this type of thing again..  
(((sigh))) ...now we have to take him to the hospital too..

**Cloud:** What did ya do that for, Aeris?

**Aeris:** I've always wanted to meet a knight!

**Cloud:** Why..?

**Aeris:** So I can knock him out to prove to you all that if you eat your spinach you can be strong, like...popeye!

**Cloud:** ...oook...

**Tifa:** Weird.

**Quina:** FOOD!

**Vivi:** sniff,sniff (((crying)))

**Zidane**: EHHHHHHH! ;;Oo

**Zidane:** eh? ;Oo

**Zidane**: MOOOOOOO

**Zidane:** Oink!

**Zidane:** BRRRRRRfffllt!

**Amarant:** I'm too cool to "BRRRRRRfffllt".

**Zidane:** COOOOL BEANS! wbhwhaherhawerheaheahheaheh

**Cloud:** COOL BEANS! WOW!  
That's like, my, like, like, favorite, like, saying!

**Tifa:** Nooooooooo! Has everyone gone mental or something?

**Cid:** #$&# yeah!  
Everyone's gone (&#in' insane!  
Got a &&$ problem with it? I sure #!&#&( do! $#$&&!

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_(To Be Continued...)_


	2. And Continues

**Disclaimer:** I DONT OWN THE CHARACTERS, OK, OK! HAPPY?  
noooooo where are you taking me to!  
(((gets dragged away again)))

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Ok, here's part two of this story...  
where we last left off, Zidane was making weird noises, Vivi was sad, Cid was well...  
cussing of course, Garnet was going on an adventure, Amarant was just..."Too Cool", Yuffie wants to steal materia from Garnet who has no material, but Yuffie doesn't know that...and and...uh...lets see what else was going on...oh yeah, Steiner was knocked out, and Tifa is singing about Popeye now (though I am not sure WHY..I guess ignoring that Aeris started the Popeye thing.)...and...oh fine I'll go to the story now.

_At wherever everyone is, except Garnet  
_  
**Tifa:** C'mon we should all eat our spinach and be strong like Popeye the sailor man!  
oh...Popeye the sailor man!  
He lives in a garbage can...  
He eats all the worms and spits out the germs  
He's Popeye the sailor man!  
...everybody now!  
He's Popeye th- 

**Zidane & Cloud:** COOOOOOOOLLLLLL BEANS! 

**Zidane & Cloud:** (((laughing)))

**Zidane:** Oh, I could never get tired of saying that! 

**Cloud:** OH MY! ME EITHER! 

**Zidane:** In fact, let's say it again! 

**Cloud:** ok! 

**Zidane:** ..on the count of three... 

**Zidane:** 1... 

**Cloud:** ..uh...uh...uh...what's after 1? 

**Zidane:** ...hmmmm... (((thinks))) ...uh, 2? 

**Cloud:** Sounds good enough. Then...4? 

**Zidane:** No 3. 

**Cloud:** ohhh ok. How about we start that count down again? 

**Zidane:** yeah. 

**Zidane:** 1 

**Cloud:** uhh...2! 

**Zidane:** 3! 

**Zidane & Cloud:** COOL BEANS! 

_And over the next five hours Zidane and Cloud keep on saying cool beans. _

**Eiko:** SHUT UP! 

**Amarant:** I am too cool to shut up. 

**Eiko:** I WASN'T TALKING TO YOOOOUUUUU! AGHHHHHHH! 

**Amarant:** That's because I am to cool to be talked to by you. 

**Cloud:** Cool 

**Zidane:** Beans! 

**Zidane & Cloud:** Cooolll beannnnns! 

**Eiko:** STOP SAYING THAT! 

**Zidane:** Why? 

**Cloud:** Yeah, why? 

**Eiko:** 'Cause I said so! 

**Cloud:** ah, fine, (((sniff))) you never let us have any fun you little kid...  
nope...never over these few short minutes  
after the short five hours... 

**Zidane:** Fine, Eiko. I'll do something else...  
(((goes and paints sporks in pretty Easter colors))) 

**Cloud:** I'll go and talk to people! I'm gonna go find Barret! (((runs off )))

**Tifa:** Humph. They had to ruin a perfect Popeye song for that!

_A kitchen where Quina and Zidane are _

**Zidane:** Hmmmm...I know I'll paint little pink flowers on this spork! 

**Quina:** (((looks at Zidane))) What you doing there? 

**Zidane:** And...and...I'll paint this in...Yellow polka dots!  
(((sings))) Itsy bitsy yellow polka dot spo--rk that I painted  
for the first time today...itsy bitsy tiny weeny yellow polka dot spork! 

**Quina:** You no sing song right. 

**Zidane:** So? 

**Quina:** And what that you doing there? (((looks)))  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You bad!  
You paint sporks! Is very bad! 

**Zidane:** ...what?

**Quina:** MOO! QUACK! BACK AWAY FROM SPORKS!  
YOU BAD! SPORKS IS NO MEANT TO BE TREATED LIKE...LIKE...EASTER EGGS!  
(((acts like Homer off of the Simpsons)))  
Mmmmm...Easter Eggs...  
(((snaps out of it and chases Zidane away mooing and quacking)))

Wherever Barret is  
(bwhahahahahaha notice the exact location of everybody is not being givin out yet!  
BWHAHAHAHHAHAHA!) 

**Cloud:** HEY BARRET! 

**Barret:** Yo 

**Cloud:** Guess what I can do! 

**Barret**: What, Foo? 

**Cloud:** oh, nice disco suit, Barret! 

**Barret:** What can you do? 

**Cloud:** I...I...I can...I CAN COUNT TO 3! 

**Cloud:** See...1...uh...hmmmm..4..?...no no...how's it go again?  
1...6...20...3? noo...um...1...2..3..!  
OH YES I CAN DO IT!  
SEE! 

**Barret:** (((Barret starts to do a disco dance while disco music plays.  
Instead of the words "Disco Fever", the words "Disco Barret" are heard))) 

**Cloud:** ...uh...I gotta go now then... (((disappears)))

_Where everyone else is _

Cloud runs by this way, so does Zidane being chased by Quina 

**Zidane:** AHHH, HELP! 

**Quina**: I catch you! You dishonor sporks! 

**Zidane:** NOOOOOOOOOOO HOW COULD I? 

**Eiko:** (((whistles))) Yo, Quina!  
Look what i have for yooouuu. (((Holds up a frog)))

**Quina:** TASTY FROG! 

**Zidane:** (((takes this moment to get away from Quina))) 

**Eiko:** Good Quina...now you can have this tasty frog if you don't bother Zidane. 

**Quina:** YES, YES! Now give me tasty yum yum! 

**Eiko:** ok...here you go! (((tosses the frog to Quina)))  
(((runs))) ahhhahahahahaaaahahahhahahahahhaha...sucker! 

**Quina:** (((tries to eat frog)))  
HEY! This is no frog...is fake frog!  
...Quina hungry... (((sigh)))

_In Kalm  
(ok so you get to know where Garnet is) _

**Garnet:** Ok, I think I'll go buy a map...um...where do I buy that at?  
(((walks around))) ummm...(((shouts))) HEY CAN ANYONE TELL  
ME WHERE I CAN BUY A MAP? 

_A few people scratch their heads and shrug.  
Then in a puff of smoke, a Lizard appears _

**Lizard:** I can sell you a map. 

**Garnet:** ...ok... 

**Lizard:** ...but... 

**Garnet:** But? But what? 

**Lizard:**_Only_ if you say Cool Beans! 

**Garnet:** oook...Cool Beans. 

**Lizard:** NO! You've got to sound happier when you say cool beans! 

**Garnet:** ...ok... (((smiles))) Cool Beans! (((smiles))) 

**Lizard:** ok...close enough. 

_Garnet buys a map from the strange lizard, and the lizard disappears _

**Garnet:** weird...

_Where everyone else is.. _

**Cloud:** COOOOLLLLL 

**Zidane:** BEEAAANNNNNNNS! 

**Amarant: **I'm too cool to cool beans. 

**Cloud:** aww..thats too bad. 

**Zidane:** C'mon everyone! Say it with us! COOL BEANS! 

**Red XIII:** Cloud, Zidane, Everyone's getting tired of this. 

**Cloud:** No they aren't! 

**Zidane:** COOOOLLLL BEANS! 

**Tifa, Aeris, Red, Cait Sith, Yuffie, Steiner, Freya, Vivi, Quina, and everyone else 'cept Cid:** YES WE ARE! 

**Cid:** #$!&#$! we are #&#& sick of this $& "COOL BEANS!"!  
#$&#$&$! #$! #! 

**Cloud:** Wooooahhh calm down Cid. 

**Cid:** # #&& #$# 

**Amarant:** Whateva. I'm just too cool to # #&& #$#

**Cid:** #$&$! 

**Tifa:** Now, now Cid.  
(((drags him away by his ear and takes him to a trash can and dumps him in there))) 

_Tifa walks back out _

**Tifa:** You should all eat your spinach and you could do that too! 

**Zidane:** We could do that without eating that... 

**Tifa:** GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...oh fine, be that way. 

**Yuffie:** (aw...its been so long...and that princess isn't here again yet...  
(((sigh)))...who am I supposed to steal rare  
materia from then?) 

**Freya:** Hey everyone, we almost forgot about Vivi, why don't we check on him? 

**Zidane:** oh-kay-doo-kay 

**Eiko:** ... (((stares at Zidane for a few seconds))) ok... 

_Zidane, Freya, Eiko, Quina, Cloud, Tifa and Cait Sith walk over to Vivi _

**Zidane:** Heya buddy. 

**Vivi:** ... 

**Quina:** WHY? WHY SPORK MAKE YOU NO HAPPY?  
SPORKS MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY!  
HOW COME SPORK I GAVE YOU LONG AGO NO MAKE YOU HAPPY? 

**Vivi**: ... 

**Freya:** ...Quina, you must understand that sporks won't make Vivi happy.  
Now Vivi, what is wrong, again? 

**Vivi:** ... 

**Freya:** Four dots? uh...explain more 

**Vivi:** ... (((adjust his hat))) 

**Freya:** um hmmm... 

**Zidane:** What is it, Freya? 

**Eiko:** Did you find out anything? 

**Freya:** ...wellllll... 

**Everyone except Freya:** Yes? 

**Freya**: I have found out...absolutely nothing. 

**Zidane:** awww man..._not_ cool beans... 

**Amarant:** I am most definitely way to cool to be cool beans. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is wrong with Vivi?  
Will Quina ever figure out that sporks just can't make _everyone _happy?  
How many more times can Zidane and Cloud say cool beans?  
Is Amarant going to be "too cool" for everything!  
What will Garnet do next?  
Can Yuffie find someone to steal materia from?  
Is Tifa gonna talk about spinach again?  
Will some of the characters talk next time that haven't talked yet?  
Will anyone remember about Steiner and take him to the hospital?  
Will Cloud learn how to count higher than 3?  
Will this story start to make more sense next time?  
Find out in the next part of the story,...maybe... 

_(To Be Continued)_


	3. Part 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the FF characters. Square Soft does. I do not own this story...oh wait...yes i do.  
*gets dragged off* WHAT!?!? i do own this story!!! why are you taking me away, why?!  
  
*fights being dragged away* wait, wait, also;  
Warning: the reading of all three parts of this story so far, might cause insaneness if you are sane, even more   
insaness if you are insane, brain damage, tumors, brain cancer, birth defects, blindness, a rash, seizures,  
a very bad case of gas, and a headache. Ok, so maybe it won't cause all that but oh well. *gets dragged away*  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Vivi: ....  
  
Freya: Vivi...what's wrong?  
  
Vivi: ....  
  
Zidane: WHAT'S WRONG VIVI?!  
  
Vivi: ....  
  
Cid: #$^@#%&^@#%!!!  
  
Vivi: ....  
  
Eiko: Vivi?!  
  
Vivi: ....*stands up*  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to ....  
  
Vivi: ....  
  
Freya: Vivi, please tell us what's wrong!  
  
Vivi: *takes a few steps* I-i....  
  
Freya: ..yes?!  
  
Vivi: I...i...don't feel...s-so good...*takes a few more steps and faints*  
  
Zidane: !?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? THIS IS NOT COOL BEANS!  
  
Freya: Now we'll have to take him to the hospital.  
  
Cloud: Hey....wasn't there someone else we had to take to the hospital.  
  
Eiko: hmmmm....  
  
Yuffie: Yeah i think so....  
  
Freya: But who was it again?  
  
  
*Two hours later....*  
  
Cid: Who the @%#@&*%^@^ was it?!?!?!?  
  
Tifa:...popeye the sailor man...he lives in a gar-  
  
Zidane: No i don't think that was it.  
  
Aeries: eh....  
  
Freya:...  
  
Aeris: oh, oh!! i Know! that knight fellow!  
  
Zidane: Oh yeah....ok we need to take Rusty and Vivi to the hospital.  
  
Freya: I coulda sworn there was someone else though....  
  
Cloud: Oh well.  
  
Zidane: *sings* OHHhhh...we're off to see the docter! the wonderful docter of a hospital...  
because, because, because, because, becaaaauuussee, the wonderful things he does...!  
  
Tifa: ....  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool for the hospital.  
  
Eiko: 'kay than stay here!  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to stay here.  
  
Cid: You're to %^$##$#^ Cool to do any #&$%@&^ thing!  
  
  
*Soooo....they all take Vivi and Steiner to the hospital-well everyone except Amarant who is just too cool to do  
anything at all. oh yeah-and Quina, who wasn't around them at the time, and Garnet who is no where near any of them*  
  
  
~***At the hospital***~  
  
*Vivi and Steiner get tooken to hospital rooms, the others stay in the waiting room. They wait.  
And wait.  
And wait.  
And wait.  
And did i mention that they waited?  
Then finally a couple hours later....*  
  
*A nurse walks out with Vivi behind her*  
  
Nurse: I am happy to say that your friend Vivi is fine now.  
  
Freya, Zidane, Eiko: What was wrong with him?!  
  
Nurse: well...somehow...he got a crayon stuck in his brain.  
  
Zidane: !?  
  
Nurse: But we've succesfully tooken it out and he is now back to normal.  
  
Vivi: ..uh...y-yeah.  
  
Zidane: How the...how'd you get a crayon stuff in your brain?!  
  
Vivi: I-i don't know...  
  
Zidane: oh. Cool beans than i guess.  
  
*then a docter walks out*  
  
Freya: Soooo how's Steiner?  
  
Zidane: Is Rusty ok?  
  
Docter: well uh.....we succesfully revived him...but i'm sorry to say that we couldn't do it with, ....erm,  
slight side effects.  
  
Zidane: slight...  
  
Freya: side...  
  
Eiko: effects...?  
  
Vivi: W-what do you mean?  
  
Docter: erm, well, let's just say that...he's...erm,.....kinda...dumb now.  
  
*Everyone looks kinda shocked*  
  
Docter: Yes um, well...i'll go get him now. *a couple minutes later he comes back with Steiner.*  
  
Steiner:*has his tounge sticking out and a dumb look on his face*  
  
Zidane: *Almost bursts out laughing but doesn't*  
  
Freya: Hi Steiner.  
  
Steiner: eh,...doy?  
  
Freya: uh huh.....ooook......  
  
Stiner: I'm gonna sing the doom song! doom-doom, doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom  
  
Zidane: I don't think Beatrix would be so happy about this.  
  
Eiko: oh well. Let's go!  
  
*Everyone starts to walk out of the hospital, except Yuffie*  
  
Yuffie:*stares at the front desk at the hospital* (Is that.....they are giving out free materia?!)  
  
Yuffie: *walks closer to the bowl of..materia?*  
  
Yuffie: *walks by it looks around a few times and grabs handfuls of it* la de da....la de da..*walks away whistling  
suspisously* heh heh heh....i have succeeded in getting LOTS of materia! *looks at the materia* huh..waita...  
HEY!! THIS IS CANDY!!!!!!!!!!! aw i could i be so dumb?! *catches up to everyone else*  
  
~**Wherever Quina is (bwahahaha no locations to be given yet unless i'm talking about Garnet. BWAHAHAH  
HAHAHAH HAHAHAHAH)**~  
  
Quina: humph....Stupid Zidane paint Sporks. I sure this great dishonor. *acctually looks at more of them*  
....hey...these is...is kinda pretty!  
  
~**Where mostly everyone else is**~  
Steiner: Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom!  
  
Zidane: almost there....  
  
Steiner: Doom doom doom doom  
  
Vivi: W-why does he keep sing "the doom song"?  
  
Eiko: Remember? He is rather dumb now.  
  
Vivi: H-hey...isn't there some cartoon where a robot sings a doom song like that?  
  
Eiko: ...maybe.  
  
Zidane: heyyy Steiner. Your favorite words are "Cool Beans". Got it?  
  
Steiner: *barks*  
  
Zidane: erm ok....  
  
Cloud: And Steiner, we are all gonna say Cool Beans now, got it?  
  
Steiner: *scratches his behind*  
  
Eiko: ...ew...  
  
Zidane: oook Steiner....  
  
Cloud:1  
  
Zidane:2  
  
Cloud: 3  
  
Zidane: NOW SAY COOL BEANS!!!!  
  
Cloud, Zidane, And Steiner: COOOOOOOLLLLLLL BEAAAAAANNNS!!! doom doom doom!  
  
Cloud: HEY!!  
  
Zidane: Steiner, why did you have to go and ruin it by saying "doom doom doom!"?!  
  
Steiner: doy  
  
Barret: Awight i'm gettin' tired of this stuff awready.  
  
Steiner: DOYYYYYYYYYy *drools*  
  
  
~** Outside of Kalm **~  
  
*wellllll looks like Garnet FINALLY left Kalm...barely*  
  
Garnet:*gets on the chocobo, looks at the map, and kicks the chocobo to make it run. Luckly it's a gold chocobo  
so it can ride over mountians, cross water, and such.* *that chocobo music plays* la la la la la la la la-la laaaa la la  
la lalalalaaaa la la lalalala laaaa.....this song sure is catchy! If i get bored during this journey....which i   
probably will....perhaps i'll make words up for this song. *she doesn't even wonder HOW music is playing*  
  
~**Um, back to everyone else**~  
  
  
*finally they get back to wherever they all were in the first place*  
  
Steiner: *hits himself in the face*  
  
Cait Sith:(ok he didn't go with the others to the hospital either)  
*talks in his megaphone* PLEASE, YOU MUST HAVE SOME BRAINS LEFT. PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU HAVE BRAINS  
STILL. HOW COULD YOU FORGET ANY BRAINS?  
  
Steiner: *takes off his helmet to show that he has a cupcake under there. He grabs the cupcake, then says  
in a kinda strange voice,* To make room for the cupcake!  
  
Vivi: Y-yep...this still reminds me of a certain cartoon somehow...hmm...at least some of it. Not everything he  
does reminds me of it though...  
  
Steiner:*eats cupcake* *cries* The cupcakes gone!!!!!! *puts his helmet back on and grabs a brick out from  
his pocket* It's a red balloon! It's blue and square! I got it from an evil circus clown!  
  
*Everyone looks at Steiner strangly*  
  
Steiner: *lets go of the brick on accident and it...floats away....hmm.....* WAHHHHHH MY BALLOONS GONE!!  
  
Cid: How the &@#$ did a *%%@^! brick-  
  
Steiner: RED BALLOON!  
  
Cid: *%%@^!...red ballon..*cough*brick*cough* %#@^& float away?!?!  
  
Amarant: Dunno. I am too cool to know.  
  
Tifa:*leaves*  
  
Cloud: Why did she leave?!  
  
Zidane: I don't know but....COOL BEANS?!?!?!?!  
  
Cloud: COol  
  
Zidane: BEanS!  
  
Aeris: Sigh.....  
  
Cait Sith: *takes out his megaphone again* HEY I'VE NOTICED THAT AERIS SEEMS TO ALWAYS BE IN FAN FICS  
THAT DEAL WITH FF7 SOMEHOW, WHEN WE ALL KNOW THAT AERIS DIED IN THE REAL GAME.  
  
Aeris: Shut up you dumb robot cat.  
  
Cait Sith: oh, how insulting....*sarcastic*  
  
Aeris: Besides the story's made up and-  
  
Author: SHHHHHH! be quiet!  
  
Aeris: Oops sorry! *mumbles* if everyone reading this didn't already know this was made up...  
  
Author: What was that? You know i could take you out of this story!  
  
Aeris: I said nothing!  
  
Author: ok...but next time i catch you..bwahhahahaha! *vanishes in a puff of smoke*  
  
Aeris:oook....anyways, besides i had a reason. A pheonix down dropped on me somehow! so there! *sticks out her   
tounge*  
  
Cait Sith: ok...  
  
Zidane & Cloud: COOOOOL BEEEEEAAANS!  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
So.....Why did Tifa leave? Will Zidane and Cloud say Cool beans next time?! Will Steiner ever be smart once  
again? Will more characters appear? Well the next time finally be the time where everyone is is reveled? Or will that be  
ever even?! What will Quina do with painted sporks? How the hay did Vivi get a Crayon in his brain in the first place?  
What happened to Eiko's moogle, mog? oh yeah it's gone....forgot for a second..oops...how far will Garnet get next time?  
Will Yuffie find REAL materia to steal? Find out next time....or maybe not...next time may not provide all the answers to   
these questions and more! BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
(To Be Continued...)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Part 4

Disclaimer: wellll u know what it's gonna say so----*ppl show up* *gets dragged away* WHAT!?!??! WAS THAT NOT GOOD ENOUGH!?!?  
BUT THEY DO ALREADY KNOW WHAT THE DISCLAIMER IS NOOOO NOOO DONT TAKE ME AWWAAAAAAyyyyy!  
  
Note: Appearences made by Kuja and Sephiroth. ok well maaayybee....maybe only one of them well appear for now...maybe both...  
but you never know untill you read..bwhahahhahahahahahahaha!  
anyway, Please, don't feel affended if they do strange things. For this is a  
HUMOR fan fic, so stuff has to be that way. Funny. So if they do act wierd, remember, *humor*! *gets dragged off again*  
WHAT??!?! WHYYYYY!!?!?!?  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Steiner:*scratches his behind* Dooooyyy  
  
Eiko: .....  
  
Vivi: ....  
  
Eiko: I wish Steiner would stop scratching his butt....  
  
Vivi: M-me too....  
  
Steiner: *drools* doooooyyyyy  
  
Cloud & Zidane: *are singing a "Cool Beans!" song*  
  
*Tifa all of a suddon tap dances out in a white tux....and top hat....;;-_- ??*  
  
Tifa: *tap dances* ....Popeye the sailor man! He lives in a garbage can! He eats all the worms and spits out the  
germs, He's popeye the sailor man!  
  
Cloud & Zidane: ....no cool beans for you missy.  
  
Tifa: WHYYYYYY NOOOOTTTT ITS NOOO FAIIIIRRRRRR! *runs away crying*  
  
Cloud: ....?!  
  
Zidane: Oooo-kkkk......  
  
Cloud: You know what...?  
  
Zidane: COOL BEANS!  
  
Cloud: Exactly what i was gonna say!  
  
Zidane: COOL  
  
Cloud: BEANS!  
  
Steiner: Popeye the cool sailor doy beans! He live in a doom garbage beans! He eats all the germs and spits out the worms  
he's popeye the cool sailor doy beans!  
  
Eiko: MAKE HIM STOOOPPPPP SOMEONE PUH-LEASE MAKE HIM STOP......  
  
Amarant: I'm--  
  
Eiko: Let me guess, you are...."Too cool to make him stop"? AM I RIGHT? AM I? YOU KNOW I AM SO JUST ADMIT IT!!  
  
Amarant: Acctually....i'm to cool to be popeye the cool sailor doy beans!  
  
Eiko: ....  
  
Vivi: T-they freak me out...*leaves*  
  
Eiko: Look what you people did! You scared Vivi!  
  
Cloud: C-  
  
Zidane: ool-  
  
Steiner: DOYYYYYY *drools and scratches bottom*  
  
Cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Eiko:!?  
  
Cloud: He he he...oh no...oh no....cannnnnt breath...*turns blue*  
  
Eiko: uh whats wrong?  
  
Cloud:*face turns purple*   
  
Eiko:?!  
  
Cloud:*dark purple face*  
  
Eiko:?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?  
  
Zidane: Steiner ruined our cool beans!! *pats Cloud on the back* it's ok, it's ok...it'll be all ok...we'll just have  
to say cool beans again soon...  
  
Cloud:*turns very dark purple*  
  
Zidane: Uh, Cloud? Did you paint your face purple? Cool beans!  
  
Eiko: ...uh...um...*walks away to wherever Vivi went*  
  
Zidane: uh...cool beans!  
  
Cloud:*passes out from not breathing*  
  
*Freya walks by*  
  
Freya: Oh, not again....looks like we need another trip to the hospital.  
  
Zidane: No, don't worry Freya! He..just...*giggle*...he...PAINTED HIS FACE PURPLE!! hwhwhahahhaHAHAHAHAHHAHEHAEHEHEHAHEHEAHE!  
AND HE IS PLAYING DEAD!  
  
Freya: Erm, Zidane.....he-  
  
Zidane: Is pretending. *PRETENDING* i said he is PRETENDING!  
  
Freya: But...  
  
Steiner: Just let him think that...  
  
Freya: WOW Steiner something kinda smart came out of your mouth! Maybe you are recovering now!  
  
Stiener: *high pitched voice* HEY you no let me finish! *normal voice* Just let Zidane think that...because we all  
really know that...Cloud wants to be a plum!  
  
Freya: *sweat drops* Uh...Riiiiiight...*begins to drag Cloud to the hospital*  
  
Zidane: WAIT! i come too!   
  
Steiner: *funny voice* ME TOoOOOo! I WANNA GO TO HOSPITAL PLACE!!! IT SELLS RED BALLONS.  
  
Freya: Riiiiight....  
  
Yuffie: WAIT FOR ME!!! (maybe i can steal materia from some hospital patients? BWHAHAHAHAHA!)  
  
Tifa: ME COMING TOOOO! *sings* popeye the-  
  
Zidane: Oh no, you arn't coming with us!  
  
Tifa: awww but....  
  
Zidane: no buts about it.  
  
Tifa: awwww.....*cries*  
  
  
*Zidane, Yuffie, and Freya take Cloud to the hospital.*  
  
Tifa: But i wanted to go with....aww....no fair...*runs to where ever Cait Sith and Red are....and Cid.*  
  
*Meanwhile, where everyone was at the begening of this story, a warp thingie appears and out steps---*  
  
?????: THE BESTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD EVER, A COW.  
  
*Erm...no....it's Kuja.*  
  
Kuja: Awwww....but i want it to be a cow...*cries*  
  
*NO for i am the AUTHOR and a cow is not transporting to the FF7 world! BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA*  
  
Kuja: But....  
  
AUTHOR: ...(what ever happend to Kuja? hmph...not my concern i suppose...but he is acting kinda COOKOO...)  
  
Kuja: HUH?! i heareded that! No i shall doom you! Doomness dooom...doooooooommmmm you are doooommmed...  
  
AUTHOR: Naughty Kuja! If you don't behave i'll take you out of the story!  
  
Kuja: *sigh* Yes Sir...  
  
AUTHOR: Erm...but im not a s-  
  
Kuja: Whatever...  
  
AUTHOR: FINE....*dissapears in green smoke*  
  
Kuja: OH WELLLL....Say isn't this where...? MY E-MAIL BUDDY SEPHOROTH LIVES?!?!? OH YIPPIE-SKIPPY!  
*runs around in circles* um...my super power sinces tell me that Sephiroth is this way! Sepharoth! Stephiroth!  
  
Voice: HEY you spell his name different everytime!  
  
Kuja: SO!?!? BWHAHAHAHHAH--erm, Kwehehehehehehehehe!  
  
Voice: ....ooookkk....riiight....*leaves*  
  
Kuja: BYE BYE TILL NEXT TIME WATCH OUT I DESTROY YOU AND YOUR LITTLE DOGGY WOGGY BOGGY TOO!!! I'LL  
SEND OUT THE FLYING MONKEYS, AND YOU'll NEVER MAKE IT TO THE WIZARD OF OZMA!!! KWEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEhEHe!  
ooo...dress shop!!! *runs in and buys a dress*  
  
  
~** On the way to the hospital.(Yuffie,Zidane,Steiner,Freya,Cloud)  
  
Steiner: He pretending to be PLUM!!!  
  
Zidane: DEAD!! PRETEND!  
  
Steiner: PLLUUUUUMMMMMMM!!  
  
Freya: *mumbles something*  
  
Yuffie: *dances* *sees....materia?* *picks it up* ooohhh!!! marvel at it! a beutiful materia in the wild! shhh....  
be quiet readers...i must...hunt...the..materia....*all of a sudden is in a hunting outfit, and has a gun*  
*shoots at the "materia"* BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA  
  
Zidane: Watcha doing Yuffie?  
  
Yuffie:*mumbles* mine all mine...*grabs materia* OH NOTHING....  
  
Zidane: oh ok, just as long as you weren't shooting at something!  
  
Yuffie:Erm, yeah...right....well.....*when Zidane isn't looking yuffie examins the materia* DANGIT!!!! THIS IS A ROCK!!!  
DARN! *throws the rock in a river* how'd that river get there?  
hmm...o well...  
  
Steiner:*lights himself on fire* I AM A FIREBALL!!! *runs around burning things down with the fire around him*  
  
Freya: UH...Steiner...you...can get hurt doing that...you might burn up!  
  
Steiner: *funny voice* Oh no i won't!  
  
Freya: *wonders why he isn't getting hurt* hmmph....ok then....  
  
Steiner: FIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEeeeee la de da fire fire...  
  
Steiner*falls in a nearby lake*  
  
Freya: *sweatdrops* WHY? why can't anything ever be normal anymore?  
  
Steiner: *Grabs a taco out from under his helmet, grabs glue out of his pocket, and mini fake legs. Glues the fake  
legs to the taco and sings* Walking taco, la la la walking taco, cha cha cha!  
  
Zidane: COOOOOLLL BEAAAAAAANNNNNNSSSSSSSSS....walking taco? (he keeps getting weirder and wierder...!)  
  
*Finally they arrive at the hospital*  
  
Freya: Dr., please make sure he well be ok.   
  
Dr.: OOOOOKKK DOOKY *throws cloud in a baby stroller and takes him to a room*  
  
Freya: Yup everythings getting wierder!  
  
*They wait, and wait, and wait, and yes u guessed it they waited some more.*  
  
Dr.:Well it appears that he forgot to breath.  
  
Freya: NO DUH.  
  
Zidane:(It took them that long just to figure out that?!?!?)  
  
Steiner: *Sticks out his toungue* AROOGOOOAAA.  
  
Freya: So what are you gonna do to make him breath again?  
  
Dr.: *AHEM* Let me show you...*puts on a slightly scary mask and un-enthusiasticly says "boo"*  
  
Cloud: *starts to breath again* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT SCARY MAKE IT GO AWAY!  
  
Dr.: *takes off the slightly scary mask* BWHAHahahahha...erm...your friend is fine now! *dissapears*  
  
Cloud: AGHHHHHH he coulda gave me a heart-attack!!!!  
  
Zidane: Not cool beans!  
  
Cloud: Not...  
  
Zidan & Cloud: COOl beaNS!  
  
*Yuffie whistles suspisously*  
  
*As everyone leaves, Yuffie waits, then dives at the "Free Materia Bowl" or so she thought...then she grabbed a ton  
of it*  
  
Yuffie: BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!! I have gotten free materia!  
  
*Once Yuffie is out side she decides to see what materia she got*  
  
Yuffie:*is smiling really big* Now let's see...this is....CANDY!?!??! NOOOOOO I...I....i did it again! It's candy!  
I can't belive i didnt remember that the hospital gave out free candy NOT materia...*slaps herself on the forehead* duh...  
  
*On the rest of the way back to where ever pretty much everyone else is Yuffie looks depressed becuase she didn't get   
any materia.*  
  
~**Meanwhile...in a kitchen where Quina is...**~~  
  
Quina: Aiya! AIIIYYYA...hmm..I KNOW!! I can sell the lovely painted sporks!  
*paints the words "Painted sporks; is great object. Buy one for the lovely price of $0.25"*  
  
Vivi: Uh...Q-quina...  
  
Quina: Ah, Vivi. Painted sporks is very lovely, no?  
  
Vivi: Uh...Quina...  
  
Quina: You no need tell me how lovely they are because i know!  
  
Vivi: B-but Quina...  
  
Quina: Shh, Vivi. I say you no say how lovely sporks painted is, becuase i know!  
  
Vivi: B-b-but...  
  
Quina: No! you no need say!  
  
Eiko: QUINA!! I THINK VIVI WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT--  
  
Quina: That painted sporks is very lovely, yes!  
  
Eiko: NO!! HE WANTED TO SAY THAT YOU PUT DOLLORS INSTEAD OF GIL ON YOUR POSTER!!  
  
Vivi: ...y-yeah!!  
  
Quina: Oh...*makes a new sign that says "Painted sporks; is great object. Buy one for the lovely   
price of 300 gil"*  
  
Vivi: That's better...  
  
Quina: *sigh* My sign is lovely. Sporks is lovely...world is lovely...and  
  
*Vivi and Eiko leaved, Quina was starting to freak them out*  
  
~**Meanwhile where Garnet was,..uh...crossing over some mountain...**~  
  
Garnet:hmm.i think i'll sing. im bored. *sings to the tune of the chocobo song* Garnet on a chocobo la la la laaaa oh  
the~~reee sheee gooooees oh the~er~er~er she goooess....Garnet on a chocobo..la la la laaaa...*stops singing* aw i need  
to come up with a better song...  
  
~**When Yuffie, Cloud,Zidane, Steiner and Freya get back **~  
  
Yuffie:*is pouting becuase she didnt get materia*  
  
Cloud: th-that Docter...scared me...  
  
Zidane: uh...yeeaaah....acctually i think he scared me too...  
  
Cloud: He scared me more!  
  
Zidane: I was more scared!  
  
Cloud: NO!!! I was the scarediest of the Docter!  
  
Zidane: Well i was even more scarediester of the docter!  
  
Freya: *sweatdrops*  
  
Tifa:*tap dances by, singing popeye the sailor man.*  
  
Tifa:...huh...  
  
Cloud: Well..i'm scardiesterester!  
  
Zidane: SO! i am...--  
  
Tifa: SHUT UP YOU GUYS YOU SOUND LIKE LITTLE KIDS AND YOU ARE MAKING UP WORDS!  
  
Zidane & Cloud: Oiy...not cool beans...  
  
Barret: *walks by in a Disco suit*  
  
Cloud: A-a-aaaagain?? Bawwet you awready did the discow erweyer...  
  
Tifa: CLOUD..!! STOP ACTING LIKE A LITTLE KID!  
  
Cloud: sowwy...erm..i mean Sorry Tifa!  
  
Tifa: Better.  
  
Barret: Yo Foos! Barret's in the house! *does a disco dance*  
  
Zidane: eh...? O_o  
  
Barret: Yo, Cloud, Foo, It's time fer you to do yo' homework!  
  
Cloud: Awwww do i have to?  
  
Barret: Yes...go do your science homework!  
  
Cloud: aww...ok...*walks away to do his science homework*  
  
~**Where ever Cloud now is**~  
  
Cloud: Hey Red...  
  
Red: What?  
  
Cloud: Wanna play school?  
  
Red: uhhh...  
  
Cloud: C'mon! Um...you can uh...read this page in the science book and answer these three questions for your  
play school assignment!  
  
Red: HEY!! Cloud do your own homework. Your just trying to get me to do it for you!  
  
Cloud: Aww...dang... How'd you know? This is not cool beans!  
  
~** Where Yuffie, Tifa, Zidane, Steiner, Barret, Freya, and whoever else is**~  
  
Barret: *that song Barret had the last time he discoed was playing..the song that went like "Disco Barret, Disco Barret,   
Disco Barret..."*   
  
*Amarant Walks by*  
  
Tifa:*gets mad because no one would listen to her sing the popeye song not too long ago. She punches Amarant in the  
head*  
  
Amarant: Owchies...paiiin....but i'm too coooool for paiiiin...*rubs his head* AHHH YOU LEFT A BIG BUMP ON MY HEAD!  
  
Tifa: Really? It's hard to tell when you have all the red yarn like hair! Maybe if you shave your head..  
  
Amarant: NO! then i'd be bald...DUH!! Bald...like a bald eagle! I'm too cool to be bald like a bald eagle.  
  
*everyone stares strangly at Amarant*  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to be a spork!  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to be cool!  
  
Amarant: I't too cool to....  
  
~**Now back to Kuja**~  
  
Kuja:*skips around in a pink fluffy dress* la de da...now where is Sephiroth?  
hmmm....*in fron of kuja is a sign, done in cryon that says "Sephiroth's Hideout" each letter, a different color,  
a few letters a written backwords, like the r's for example. Looks like a little kid wrote it or something. Theres a  
arrow drawn on there pointing towards a building...*  
  
Kuja: hmm...is that where Sephiroth is hiding now? *inspects the sign that says it is* Hmm, well i'm not sure...hmm...  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Will Kuja find Sephiroth? Will Steiner just keep getting more and more stupid? Will Garnet think of a better song to  
go with that chocobo music? How many more time's will Amarant say "I'm too cool to ___(insert word here)__"?   
Will Cloud finish his science homework? Will Quina be able to sell the painted sporks?  
Will anyone have to go to the hospital again?! Will Barret do a disco dance again?  
Will Tifa sing the popeye the sailor man song again? Will--ok, ok, i'll shut up now...  
oh yeah, and, find out all those answers and more, (or perhaps less...) in the next part of this story!  
  
(To Be Continued...)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Part 5

Diclaimer: I'm not insane, i'm just not sane. Errr i mean i'm hyper, sugar-high when i type this stuff.  
let's see...*everytime a name is said in the disclaimer a picture pops up of that character* Let's see...  
i don't own...Mario, Vivi, Bowser, Freya, Amarant, Vincent, Red 13, Quina, Eiko, Zidane, Kuja, Garnet, Sephiroth, Cloud,   
Barret, Tifa, Aeries, cait sith, cid, any other ff9 or 7 characters i might have missed, or Citrus Man(find out:P),   
Dr.Donez(a tweeter from super mario bro.s 2), Bill the Extra Guy(a pidget from SMB2),  
or Fred the Spanyard(its a bugsy from Kirby, w/ a diff name).  
Citrus Man-Fred the spanyard- characters offa the site www.smbhq.com/nc ...you should really go there too! ;P read the comix  
and find out who all them characters are. ) Also i don't  
own the Earth, Math, the Universe, your nextdoor nieghbor's house, or a horse.  
Warning: this part probably makes the least scence yet. If you've read through all 5 parts now, then, this probably  
has caused insaneness.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
~~* Kuja, in front of where Sephiroth's house is*~~  
  
Kuja: *stares at the sign that says " Sephiroth's Hideout" with an arrow pointing to the house* uhhhhh....man, this is  
way to confusing! WHERE IS SEPHIROTH I MOST KNOW!??!?! *punches the sign* STUPID SIGN YOUR NOT HELPING ME AT ALL!! WHY  
DON'T YOU TELL ME WHERE SEPHIROTH IS?!?! AGHHHH! *kick sign, stubs toe, falls down in mud* NO MY DRESS! I GOT MUD ON MY   
DRESS! grrr....this is your fault, you sign, you! I shall get my revenge! *skips off*  
  
~~*Where mostly everyone else is...*~~  
  
Cloud: *Walks by*  
  
Barret:*stops discoing* Cloud? DID YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK?  
  
Cloud: uh yeah...  
  
Barret: even math homework?  
  
Cloud: uhhh......huh? what? math homework? there was none.  
  
Barret: There is now. Now i'd like you to answer these TWO math problems, 1) 1+1=? 2) 4-1=?  
  
Cloud: *writes down the problems and sits down* uhh...let's see...1+1...no problem...uhhhh...maybe it's "Cool Beans"?  
no..uhh...11? hmmm....pst, Zidane.  
  
Zidane:*walks over to Cloud* What?  
  
Cloud: What's 1+1?  
  
Zidane: Uhhh...hmmm...now that's a good question! hmm...well i don't know how you expect me to know, that's like,   
the hardest question i have ever seen! You'd have to be the smartest person on Earth to know the answer.  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to know the answer. But i'll NEVER be cool enough for sporks!!  
  
Quina:*walks by* awwww....i was hoping you buy painted spork, but guess you won't....  
*runs back to where s/he has the painted  
sporks*  
  
Steiner: *Grabs a spork with a red super hero cape-SUPER SPORK!* WHOOSH GO SUPER SPORK GO WHOOOOSH! uh-oh look it's  
the evil twin of sporks-THE FOONS! AHHHH and they brought a bowl of Mummy's Chilie! AHHHHh! we need the special  
chibi spork to be able to eat the chilie without getting gas!  
  
*Everyone stares at Steiner*  
  
Aeris:*whispers to Tifa* Uhh...maybe we should take that knight person to the hospital...  
  
Tifa:*whispers* probably. But not the one we have been going to. A different one. The one clear across town, oppisite   
side of the other hospital....let's go. *motions with her hands for anyone else to follow*  
HEY...STEINER, GET OVER HERE, WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU IF YOU FOLLOW US...  
  
Steiner: AH, the chibi spork! At long last....i shall get the chibi spork! *drools* *sniffs bottom of shoe* MMM  
SMELL THAT BOTTOM OF SHOEYNESS.  
  
*And so, some characters come along with Tifa and Aeris, to take steiner to the hospital on the other side of the town.  
GASP! will they make it? I hear that side of town is DANGEROUS. bwahahahaha...(?)*  
  
Yuffie:*talks to self* BUWAHUHUHUHUHUHU! now is my chance...to get materia!!  
  
Steiner: *in high-pitched voice* I AM SAILOR SPORK!  
and foons.........AND IN THE NAME OF SPORKS, I SHALL PUNISH YOU!  
  
Freya: ;;-_- let's get him to the hospital and QUICK.  
  
*suddenly a warp appears. a fat plumber and a few other characters appear. the plumber falls on top of Steiner*  
Steiner: Mummy i find da evil suntan lotion plans....*sticks out tounge*  
  
Mario: Its-a-me-a, Mario!  
  
Fred The Spanyard: yeah yeah, blah, *imatating Mario* Itsa-me-a, Stupid ! (*Note; for those that don't know,(im guessing  
many readers here, have not been to www.smbhq.com/nc before, so...) Fred and Bill don't like Mario.)  
  
Bill The Extra Guy: NO MARIO HAS FOLLOWED US!  
  
Dr.Donez: *holds up a shoe* BWAHAHAHHAHAHA I STOLE JAY REESOP'S OTHER SHOE!! Now Jay Reesop won't have the destruction  
of the $100,000 piramid!   
  
Dr.Donez: *hangs a sign around his neck that says "ASK Me, DR.DONEZ!(insert a dramatic close-up of dr.donez pic here) a   
question! Open from 13478128347091278347123-3487129048128499 am pm dusk central noon!"*  
  
Cid: WHAT THE *@&#$*@^#@#!!! WHO THE #&($^*@$#^&*@^*& ARE THEY?!  
  
Fred The Spanyard: Just call me Fred...  
  
Bill the extra guy: And just call me Bill.  
  
Dr.Donez: I am, DR.DONEZ! *dramatic close-up of Dr.Donez* Oiy, those close-ups give me headaches.  
  
Mario: Itsa-me-a Mario, number 1!  
  
Aeris: *has an urge to hit steiner in the head...or helmet, since thats covering his head, wonder if we were to take  
stiener's helmet off, if he'd be bald?)* *attempts to hit steiner with her staff,but hits mario instead. Mario faints*  
  
Mario:*wakes up* ouchies..  
  
Aeris: OOPS...uhh..you ok..uh...whats-your-name..uhhh...Mario?  
  
Mario: HUH? Who's this Mario you speak of? ...i am..CITRUS MAN!!!!  
  
Steiner: CITRUS MAN CITRUS MAN!!! CAN I HAVE AN ORANGE THAT IS BLUE?  
  
Citrus Man: no. you can have an orange that is orange. Thou be insultive by calling orange blue.  
  
Stiener: What?*words such as thou and insultive confuse him*   
  
Steiner: *sailor moon pose* I AM SAILOR SPORK! BWAHAHAHAHA *attacks a 'foon'* DIE FOON DIE!  
  
Citrus Man: Foon? WHERE?!?! Using the powers of oranges,limes, and lemons, i shall defeat all evil!  
  
Dr.Donez: Riiight...hey now....ANY ONE WANT ASK ME A QUESTION ANYONE?!  
  
Steiner: ohhhh question! I hold all power of the sporkdom! BWAHHAHAHAHHA! now, Dr.Donez...uhh...If my nose itches,  
pie=square?  
  
Dr.Donez: Only if your mom failed..uhh...cooking school, and can't bake circle pies.   
  
Steiner: 14789739127837891423124734771284332147831274812 = wheuarha jerase,n,rsme,rams?  
  
Dr.Donez: WHAT?!! WHATS THAT YOU SAY? THE COCONUTS ARE MIGRATING THIS WAY AND OUR OUT TO GET ME?!*hides in a toilet*  
  
Fred:*see's something snoring* SHUT UP! *uses 'deathly deathray of deathly deathness' on whatever was snoring*   
  
Freya:*mumbles* everythings wierd...everything....everything...can't anything ever be normal?  
  
Cloud: Dr.Donez, what's 1+1? i need to know for math home---er forget i ever said that. Now, what's 1+1?  
  
Dr.Donez: Buy Dr.Donez's Book of Love, only $39.00!!  
  
Cloud: O_o ??? *scratches head* I don't understand...o well....  
  
Citrus Man: CITRUS FROOOOOOTTT POOOOWWEEERRRSS!! *throws citrus fruits at everyone*  
  
Aeris: OW THAT GOT IN MY EYE! AHHH IT BUUURRRNNSS, IT BURNS...  
  
*Wario appears*   
  
Wario: WARIO?!?! Whose that? I am..CHEESE KILLER!  
  
Freya: ahhhh somebody shoot me this is wacko!  
  
A gun: ok--  
  
Freya: No, don't take that seriously!  
  
AUTHOR: OK, hold on, hold on, get out of my fan fic, 'A gun'. You don't belong here. You're gonna ruin  
the fic.  
  
A gun:....*leaves*  
  
AUTHOR: Better. *disapears in purple smoke*  
  
Mar...er..Citrus Man: CHEESE KILLER!??!? Could it be...my evil twin!?  
  
War...er..Cheese Killer: YES IT BE I!! BWAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!  
  
*And so Ma....Citrus Man, and W...Cheese Killer yell at each other, have a fight, fall off a cliff, eat some cheese,  
and throw a party. then the fight again...*  
  
LATER....  
*At night time*  
  
Freya: Man, we've been walking FOREVER and still arn't there...  
  
Steiner: IT DARK....DR.DONEZ I THINK SUN GO OUT. SUN GO BYE-BYE LIGHT....  
  
Dr.Donez: OH MY! YOU ARE ABSOULUTLY CORRECT....the...the...GASP!...the sun's lightbulb is....  
burnt out! hurry, people, hurry! Find me a 328478912747238572497437589237490854987389 watt  
lightbulb!  
  
*Steier hands him a brick*  
  
Steiner: *smiles* WED BAWWOON!  
  
Dr.Donez: eh...i need a lightbulb not a...balloon....*coughbrickcough*  
  
Steiner: ...I NEED A RED BALLOON!!!!  
  
Bill: UMMMM....it's called nightime not the sun being--  
  
Steiner: RED BALLOON!  
  
Citrus Man: What? Hast you dared to insult Citrus Man?  
  
Citrus Man: ORANGE OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!  
  
Steiner:OOOHHH DA SUN IS FALLING THE SUN IS FALLING!  
  
*Steiner then gets hit by the ORANGE OF DOOM.*  
  
Steiner:*under orange*  
  
Citrus Man: ORANGE OF DOOM!  
  
*Bill the Extra Guy then get's hit by the ORANGE OF DOOM*  
  
Bill:*Begins to fly around with orange peels on his head* I'M A YELLOW BANANA!!!  
  
*Quina Rushes by* WHO WOULD LIKE TO BUY SPORK?! LOVELY PAINTED SPO- FOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!! *looks at the orange steiner  
is under and drools* ME SO HUNGRY! ORANGE SO BIG! *eats the orange and steiner along with it*  
  
Freya: ....umm....Quina....you at Steiner.....  
  
Quina: WHAT?! *Quina opens her/his mouth and tries to talk* Skyner? hewo? Gou gown gere?  
  
Freya: ...*rolls her eyes*  
  
~*Meanwhile, in Quina's stomach*~  
Steiner: THE PIG ACCEPTS ME!!   
  
Steiner:Pig? ...aw...it go bye-bye...  
  
Steiner:huh..wheres everybody..HELLO? *notices a sign and reads it*  
"Welcome to Quina's Stomache Town" ....huh?! What kind of a name is that for a hamburger?!  
  
*Steiner walks around the stomach town*  
  
Steiner: WOW WHATTA BIG TOWN....  
  
~*Meanwhile, outside of Quina's stomache*   
  
Bill: I'M A YELLOW BANANA, DARN IT!! A YELLOW BANANA!!! YOU HEAR ME??? A YELLOW BANANA!  
  
Dr.Donez:ah, reminds me of when i first saw Bill....  
  
Zidane: Hey Dr.Donez*dramatic close-up of Dr.Donez*  
  
Dr.Donez: OUCH!!!! the camera hit my beak! gah! Don't say my name, i don't wanna go through with the close-ups. THEY   
INVADE MY PERSONAL SPACE I TELL YOU!!!  
  
Zidane:....yeah, yeah, blah, COOOOooool--  
  
...  
...  
....  
......Cloud?  
CLooouUUUUUUuuuuDDDdd whheerreee are you?  
ummm...cloud?  
cloud?  
cloud?  
HEY CLOUD?!  
CLOOOOUUUUUDDDD?!  
  
~*Meanwhile, in a box*~  
Cloud:..now...i followed that plastic lawn flamingo in here! where'd it go?  
huh...  
...  
....  
what the...  
what is that?! ...  
gahhhhhhhhhh noooo it's a Evil Rabied Blue Defective Pink Plastic Lawn Flamingo! HEEEELLLPPPPP!!  
  
~*Now back to some of the others*~  
  
Zidane: CLOUD YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY BEANS!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!??!?! oh well....  
  
Dr.Donez: there is no time! we must hurry to a town to buy a 1374187382432897487238472187482378 watt lightbulb  
to use to replace the sun!  
  
Freya:.....whatever, t-  
  
Amarant: HEY HEY! That's MY line! whateva.....humph...just goes to show ya that--  
  
Freya: let me guess, that you are--  
  
Amarant:AHEM. I'm too cool to buy a 13741873842328974872187482378 watt lightbulb.  
  
Freya: THEN JUST GO AWAY, GO AWAY!  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to go away...sadly i'll never be cool enough for sporks though..*cries*  
  
Freya:O_o let's just all go now, we need to get Steiner to the hospital...*begins to walk towards wherever they are going*  
  
Freya* C'mon Steiner!  
...  
...  
...steiner!  
  
Aeris:...umm....the knight guy?..um...he got ate by that clown thing, remember?  
  
Quina: I IS NO CLOWN!!!!!! GRRRR!! YOU INSULT QUINA!  
  
Citrus Man: Did thou say, SALT?!?! AGHHHHHHH! KEEP IT AWAY FROM MY CITRUS FRUIT!!  
  
Quina: ..... ....? ?!  
  
Aeris:*begins hitting quina in the stomach with a staff* YOU ATE KNIGHT MAN!YOU NAUGHTY CLOWN THING!  
  
Quina:HEEEEYYYY!! I NO CLOWN THING, I QUINA!  
  
*Aeris keeps on jabbing Quina in the stomache with a staff*  
  
~*meanwhile IN Quina's stomache, again.*~  
  
Steiner: AHHHHHHH THE EARTHWROMS ARE ATTACKING!! NOOOOooooOOOOoooo!  
  
A random person in the town in quina's stomach: NOOOO! it's a tummy-quake!  
  
Steiner: YOU MEAN EARTHQUAKE!!! NO...EARTHWORMQUAKE!! AHHHHHH..  
  
same person again: nooo, it's a tummy-quake!!  
  
Steiner: huh?  
  
person again:look, YOU NEED TO TAKE COVER! THIS IS VERY DANGEROUS!!!  
  
Steiner: HEHehhehehHEHEHEHEHHE loooookiie the walls jiggle like Jello! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEHEHEHHEHE!  
  
same person: whatever,....*runs his house*  
  
Steiner: WOOP-DE-DOO WEEHooHOOHOO! WEEHOOHOOHOO! WEEHOOHOOHOO!!!! *dances*  
  
~*meanwhile outside of the stomache*~  
  
Quina: QUIT JABBING ME! IT HURT!  
  
Aeris: GAHHH YOU ATE KNIGHT MAN!!!  
  
Freya: Gah...now you need to be tooken to the hospital too Quina...  
  
Zidane: WELL....maybe, not cause Quina might tho-  
  
Freya: ZIDANE! We don't need to know that.  
  
Zidane: BUT...oh..fine...Quina might also po-  
  
Freya: ZIDANE! WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW DON'T WANT TO KNOW!  
  
Zidane: FINE! No cool beans for you!!! Grrr...  
  
Freya:..what ever...*begins to walk towards the town*  
*trips on a box*...how'd that get here!?  
  
~*Inside box*~  
Cloud:AHHHHhh hhHHhhh earthquake! *a couple of evil rabied blue defective pink plastic lawn flamingos *gasps for air*   
land on Cloud* AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
~*out side box*  
  
Freya:..*picks up box* Did this box just...scream?!  
  
Vivi: AHHHHH! H-h-haunted box!!  
  
Freya:...where'd you come from, Vivi? You weren't here just a minute ago.  
  
Vivi:..umm..I-i....I don't know..*adjusts his hat*  
  
AUTHOR: BWAHHAHAHAHAHA! VIVI WAS PUT HERE MAGICALLY BY ME!!  
  
Freya:ohhhh....i see.  
  
AUTHOR:Huh? DO YOU DARE QUESTION MY...AUTHOR-ISH POWERS?!  
  
Freya:uh...no...  
  
AUTHOR: GRRR! I'LL REMEMBER THIS...*winces*...FREYA! *dissapears in pink smoke*  
  
Freya: ooook....that was a bit....weird.  
  
Vivi:.....s-s-s-scary author lady...*shudders*  
  
Freya:O_o;;....don't worry Vivi. I don't think we'll be seeing...AUTHOR...for a while...  
  
Box:*screams*  
  
Freya:hmmm...can't figure out why this box is screaming...  
  
Aeris: OH! OH! CAN I HIT IT WITH MY STAFF?!?  
  
Freya:umm...ok.  
  
Aeris: YAY!!! *begins hitting box with staff*  
  
~*inside box*~  
Cloud: OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!  
~*out side box*~  
*box breaks and Cloud falls out, knocked out, along with some...Evil Rabied Blue Defective Pink Plastic Lawn Flamingos,  
which are also knocked out.*  
  
Aeris: OHHHH! A PERSON! umm...i'll call him...umm...*thinks*...Fluffy!  
  
Yuffie:....that's Cloud.  
  
Aeris:FLUFFY!  
  
Yuffie: That's CLOUD.  
  
Aeris: FLUFFY CLOUD! *giggles*  
  
Yuffie:...erm...ok....HEY! when are we gonna get to town? I can't wait to steal some mat....erm...  
i can't wait for us to get to the hospital! yeah...um so steiner can be better!  
  
Aeris: knight man...  
  
Freya:*looks at Cloud* oh dear....another person to take to the hospital....  
  
Aeris:FLUFFY.  
  
Freya: NOOOooO....Cloud.  
  
Aeris: ...grr..FLUFFY!   
  
Amarant:whateva.  
  
Aeris: YARNHAIR..bwhahahha..  
  
Amarant: ....i'm to cool for yarnhair.  
  
Aeris: hey...whatever happened to that masked bird, strange bug, that fat guy, and that bird on a carpet?  
  
Freya:...you mean Dr.Donez, Fred, Mario..erm...Citrus Man, and Bill?  
  
Aeris: ...uhh....yeeeeah..  
  
Zidane: I PUT THEM IN A BOX!!! BWAHHAHAHAH COOL-  
  
Cloud: -*in very soft voice*..b..eans.....*is knocked out still*  
  
Freya: what the...  
  
Zidane:*holds up a box. shouting is heard from within the box*  
  
Freya: you should really let them out of that box, Zidane.  
  
Zidane:.........aw...do i have to?  
  
Freya: You should. do it. let them out.  
  
Quina: Me want to eat box..looks yummie...*drools*  
  
~*In Quina's stomache*~  
Steiner:*hugs a spork while staring at anyone that walks by*  
MY SPORK!MINE! IT'S MIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEEE!  
  
~*Wherever Kuja Is*~  
Kuja:*walks out of a Clothes shop. wearing a *NEW* frilly,fluffy, pink dress*  
hum-de-dum, yay new dress! now i must get revenge on the sign! Then figure out where Sephiroth's house is....  
yes...first i shall get revenge on that sign that says "Sepiroth's Hideout ------"  
*looks up at the sky* oooohhh...that cloud looks like a---AHHHHHHHHH! A BEE! A BEE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *a bee is about to  
stign Kuja* *falls in a mud puddle*  
NOOOOOOO!!!!! MY DRESS! MY NEW PINK FRILLY FLUFFY DRESS! GAHHH! I SHALL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU! MUD PUDDLE AND...  
surely that was no normal human bee!...gah...EVIL DEATH BEE! I SHALL GET MY REVENGE...on the BEES...bwahhahhahahahaha  
*goes even more insane then before*  
...hmm...hey...that sounds like a show i watches once! THIS PROVES BEES ARE.....EVILE...erm..EVIL! MOWHAHAHAHHAHAHAH  
MOOWAHAHAHAHAH KWE HE HE HEHEHE I'LL GET YOU, BEES!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
thus concludes part 5. Part 6 coming soon. will be writing from insaness that came from eating....a can of frosting!  
O_o;; I have no clue of why i ate a can of frosting, so don't ask.  
  
*ahem* NEXT TIME IN THIS STORY...erm..or stuff to expect to see sometime...  
Next i will put in some characters that i haven't put in here at all yet(hmm..isn't there only one...or two?) and  
one's that haven't been in the story for a little while. Next part will have some the-eating-of-frosting-rusults  
in it, which will include....a show called...'SUPER SNAIL'! ...bwahhahahahahahahhahahha! i'm sure it's confusing adding  
MORE characters such as Dr.Donez,Bill,Fred,and Mario..erm..Citrus Man. so...WHY NOT! BWAHHAHAHA I'LL CONFUSE YOU ALL WITH..  
confusidnessness....bwahahahhahaha...and that's a word now! i say so! :D *ahem* also...sometime.....  
Dr.Donez Journey to the Sun To replace the 'burnt out lightbulb', what Garnet's been up to, and um..*thinks*...umm...some   
other stuff sometime too....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE ALMIGHT AUTH-erm....BWHAHAHA! *dissapears in green smoke*  
no one can know my ...secret...that i am the AUTH--erm...someone!  
  
Citrus Man: ORANGE OF DOOOOOOOOMMMMM! *hits readers with a very large orange.*  
  
me: HEY, HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! GET BACK IN THAT BOX ZIDANE PUT YOU IN!  
  
Citrus Man:....ok....*slowly heads towards the box* Citrus Man shall destroy the evil box with the powers of  
lemon,lime, and orange......*mumble mumble*  
  
me:HURRY. GO. GET. SKAT.  
  
Citrus Man: ok. i'm going...i'm going...ORANGE OF DOOM! BWAHHAHAHAHAH  
  
me:*gets hit by the 'ORANGE OF DOOM'* *mumbles something from under the orange*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Part 6

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Yes it's been a bazillion years now, but i've finally have made part 6. I know  
i said it would be put up soon. But. uh. I guess i'm just lazy. YAY!!! wait..not yay....but at least i've got it up now.  
And this is just written, by, er, insaneness not from eating a can of frosting, since that was SO long ago.  
If anyone will even find my story now...it's got to be like way in back of all the ff storys now...oh well. whatever...  
Disclaimer:I..I...I OWN NOTHING!!! NOTHING I TELL YA! NOOOOTHHHHIIIINNNNGGG! well..wait...  
......  
..........NOTHING!!!!!*gets dragged away once again*  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
~~* And so....uh...the characters are...walking..and will...walking...and walking. On to the hospital! *~~  
Zidane: NEVER!! NEVER!! I'm not taking them out of the box. hmph...  
  
Freya: Zidane! Come on! You should.  
  
Zidane:nooo....lemme think....no...*throws the box*  
  
Dr.Donez(from inside box):IEEEEEEEE!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  
  
Quina:Where did box go?? *squish*   
  
Freya: Great...  
  
Quina: Oops? I squish box...  
  
Freya: Uhhh..let's get away from here, quickly...  
  
*Everybody walks suspisously fast, pretending that never happened*  
  
Zidane:....Wahhh!!*trips*...who put this big box here??  
  
Yuffie: ......acctually thats a...  
  
Zidane: I KNOW what i am talking about! *bangs on the..'box'* HELLO???  
  
*it opens*  
Vincent: Go away...  
  
Zidane:*yells loudly* HEY!!! WHO ARE YOU??? IM ZIDANE!!!  
  
Vincent: I'm Vincent...and i want to go back to sleep.  
  
Zidane: Cool Beans! Vincent!  
  
Yuffie: Hi Vincent.  
  
Vincent: Hi Yuffie. And Bye. *goes back into his coffin*  
  
Zidane: ...hmm....let's take him with us!!! *tries to drag the coffin* ....*seconds later* arg! too heavy. I give up.  
*kicks the coffin* Stupid box!  
  
Vincent:*pops out* What?? Are you calling me a stupid box?? Why you...i oughta....oh well..forget it.*goes back in coffin*  
  
Zidane:...Ahh! *runs way ahead of everyone and bumps into something* ..YAY...i mean, Ouch!  
hmm.....its a sign!! I'll read it!! ..uhm...ok....uh...  
...i think it says...'Hop still' ....huh? Wierd. How do you hop, and be still???  
  
Freya: Wait...no, Zidane that says Hospital!!  
We've made it!  
  
Yuffie:.....yes! Let's see what mat....err....*mumbles to self* Let's see what materia i can find to steal at  
THIS hospital...  
  
Freya: and while we're here, we'll stop at that store next door to get you hooked on phonics...  
  
Zidane:Yay! hoocked oun fonix!  
  
Freya: ...  
  
*They go inside the hospital and walk up the the front desk*  
  
Person at desk: What do YOU want?  
  
Freya: ....well..*points to Quina* Quina here ate--  
  
Aeris: Knight Man!!  
  
Freya:...and then--  
  
Aeris: FLUFFY!!!  
  
Freya:..*cough*CLOUD*cough* is knocked out...  
  
Person at desk: Ok. Um. We'll take them to room 1,234,315,233,432. *pushes a button and a small robot appears*  
Take them *dramaticly points to Cloud and Quina* To room 1,234,315,233,432!!!  
  
Robot:Oh Okay Dokay!! *zooms away with them*   
...uhhh....what room was it again?  
*goes on to go to room # 1,234.*  
  
Freya:well, lets sit down and wait...  
  
*they all sit down*  
  
Yuffie: hehehehehe!!! *stares at a bowl of...materia?...at the front desk* I gotta get over there and take all of that  
materia!  
*face looks pale*  
nooo! some...some kid just...ATE SOME OF IT!!! *runs up there* I better take what's left before some other insane person  
eats the materia!!!! Kids these days! There INSANE!!!!! *grabs the 'materia'*  
  
Person at Desk: Hey! You!! Put that back! You can't have ALL of the candy.  
  
Yuffie:...JUST WATCH ME!! I CAN HAVE ALL THE.......candy?? what?? not again...*sigh* *puts all the candy back and sits   
back down*  
  
*hours later...*  
*a Doctor walks out with Cloud,Steiner and Quina*  
  
Doctor: Here are your friends.  
  
Freya: Good, we've gotten this tooken care of now..  
  
Steiner:MOO!! Today is friday! I am a monkey!  
  
Freya:*Sigh* ok, he's still acting..odd. But at least he's not in Quina's stomache anymore.  
  
Quina: I hungry...  
  
Zidane:Oh!! I know exactly who can help us!! Who can make steiner better!!  
  
Freya:*sigh* who?  
  
Zidane:*takes out a cell phone*  
  
Aeris: ooh. is that yours??  
  
Zidane:*shrugs* I dunno. I found it in his coat pocket. *points to some guy* *dails a number*  
  
Guy:Hey!! That's my cell phone!!  
  
Dr.Donez: *answers phone* Hello? This is the *BRILLIANT* Dr.Donez speaking! What do you want?  
  
Zidane: Well...  
  
Fred: Dr.D, what are you doing??   
  
Dr.Donez: Shh, Fred, quiet. Can't you see that i'm on the phone??  
  
Fred: But...your standing right next to the person your talking to!!  
  
Dr.D:SHHH!! i'm trying to talk here!   
  
Fred:...Hey, Zidane. Why don't you just talk to dr.d? He's right next to you.  
  
Zidane: huh?  
  
Fred:...arg. uh, He'll call you back later! *hangs up Zidane's phone*  
  
Zidane: ....ooooh i get it...*yells really loudly* HEY, DR.DONEZ!*close up*  
  
Dr.D:....what? Could you say that again?   
  
Zidane: *talks normally* um. i said Hey, Dr.Donez!*close up*  
  
Dr.D:...sorry, i can't hear a word your saying...  
  
Fred: Look, you made him deaf!   
  
Zidane: No I didn't. He looks alive to me...  
  
Fred: ARG. Deaf not death. Deaf as in he can't hear now, not death as in dead.  
  
Freya: Wait a minute....How did you guys get here? ....i mean...THE BOX YOU WERE IN WAS SQUISHED!!!!   
YOU CANT BE HERE!!  
  
Bill:Huh?? Oh. That's must of been our stunt doubles.  
  
Cloud: Cool Beans! ...uh..what are stunt doubles?  
  
Bill: You don't know?? well....Never mind that then.  
  
Citrus Man: *stares over at Steiner* Be you friend or foe?  
  
Steiner:........*blink*  
  
Citrus man: Are you againest the citrus way?!  
  
Steiner: mooooooo??????  
  
Citrus Man: You fiend! Mocking the citrus way, eh?  
well...  
  
Fred:...  
  
Bill: Well...we must be going. *mumble* Before Mario causes trouble.  
  
Dr.Donez: Wait, i never got to replace the sun's lightbulb yet though!!!!!!  
  
Fred:*rolls eyes* Look outside. ITS LIGHT OUT. See? You don't need to change the lightbulb!!  
  
Dr.Donez:...huh? Who changed the sun's lightbulb...? Why!  
That evil tweeter #1 beating me to replacing the suns lightbulb! grrrrr!   
  
Bill:uh, Bye!!...Extra Warp!*Bill,Fred,Dr.Donez, and Mari....er...Citrus Man dissapear*  
  
~~*Somewhere outside the hospital*~~  
*warp*  
Bill: Well, we're home!!  
...eh....wait....  
  
Fred: huh? We only warped to outside the hospital!! Bill! Learn to use that move better!!  
  
Dr.Donez: oh my...  
  
Bill:oops. sorry...  
  
Fred: You better get us outta here now Bill.  
I just KNOW that i am missing something good on C-SPAN.  
  
~~*Inside the hospital*~~  
Freya: Well let's just leave now..  
  
Steiner:*runs out the doors* WHOOOOSHHHHHH!!!  
  
*everyone else just walks out the doors*  
  
Steiner:GASP!! *points to something shadowed in the alley by the hospital*  
It's...SHOWDOWY FIGURE!! dun dun dun...and I am..SHADOWY FIGURE'S MINI ONION!  
  
Cloud:Don't you mean minion?  
  
Zidane: Where'd you get Mini Onoin come from?? Plus...that's just a trash can.  
  
Stiener:...  
*lid falls off of trash can*  
SHADOWY FIGURE HAS SPOKEN!!  
  
Freya:...  
  
Steiner: Obey the shadowy figure!!   
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to obey a trash can.  
  
Steiner: It's not a trash can!! It's...  
OOOHH!!! I WANNA GO THERE!!! *runs towards a large store. A grocery store*  
  
Aeris: ooh...where did that come from? I don't remember there ever being a LARGE store here.  
  
Freya:...we better follow him!  
  
Zidane: Cool  
  
Cloud: Beans!!  
  
Zidane and Cloud: A cool looking store!!!  
  
~~*Meanwhile at the dress shop once again...*~~  
Kuja: I must by a NEW dress! Then get my revenge on that stupid sign and the bees!  
now let's see....*picks out the fluffiest softest pink dress he can find* ooh!! i must buy this!!  
*buys the dress and skips out of the dress shop* tra la la la tra la la la tra la la la la LAAAA...  
*goes into a weapon shop* *buys a lazer gun* MWAHAHAhhehah kewhwhahhahhahahaheheheahekahekaheakehahekeh  
*insane evil twisted laughter*  
  
~~*At that large grocery store*~~  
Freya: Ok..finding Steiner should be no problem...Can't be too many isles here, right?  
...right...?  
......AHHHHHHHHH!! there's hundreds of isles here! Well he couldn't have gotten too far yet...  
we should split up or something.  
  
Zidane:Ooh! i'll go with cloud!  
  
Freya: Ok..I'm not so sure that's such a good idea, but go ahead, and try not to get lost.  
  
Cloud:let's go find the beans isle, Zidane!  
  
Zidane: sounds like...cool beans!!! Let's go!!  
  
Cloud:uhh...which way is it??  
  
Zidane: I dunno....let's go to the left!! It looks like a good way to go...  
  
Freya: And this is exactly why...  
  
*Cloud and Zidane end up in the dairy isle*  
  
Cloud:..this sure doesn't LOOK like the beans isle...  
  
Zidane: or..smell like the beans isle....  
  
Cloud:hmm..then it could only be one thing.... and thats...  
  
Cloud&Zidane:NOT THE BEANS ISLE!! noooooo!! EVIL!!!  
  
Zidane:..hmm..*picks up a package of cheese* cheese!!!!!   
  
Cloud: Behold, the power of cheeeeeese!  
  
Zidane:*looks at the label* "Who Cut the Cheesy Cheese?(tm)" ....huh? What a weird name for cheese. *throws the cheese*  
*it hits someone* oopsies!  
  
Barret: What foo hit me with this cheese???  
  
Zidane:EEEPP!!!  
  
Cloud:AHHHH!!  
  
Zidane:wait...  
  
Cloud:it's....  
  
Barret: Yes it is. It is Barret! What yo' foos doing here?  
  
Zidane: Steiner ran in here! and we have to find him!  
  
Barret: Oh.  
  
Cloud:whatcha doing here?  
  
Barret: Buying some milk. You guys shouldn't leave here without buying a carton of milk either!  
  
Cloud:why not?  
  
Barret:...I pity the fool that doesn't buy some milk. Milk is good fo' you.  
  
Zidane: Say...are you really..Mr.T?? are you secretly Mr.T???? huh huh huh??  
  
Barret: Who?  
  
Zidane: Mr.T!  
  
Barret: who?  
  
Zidane: Mr.T!  
  
Barret: who?  
  
Zidane: Mr.T!  
  
Barret: who?  
  
Zidane: Mr.T!  
  
Barret: who?  
  
Zidane: Mr.T!  
  
Barret: Don't be silly, foo'. Now i demand you buy some milk!  
  
Cloud: oh ok, ok....sheesh...*grabs some cartons of milk*  
  
Zidane: I bet your Mr.T's identical twin Barret! Cool beans!  
  
~~*Back to Kuja....*~~  
Kuja:ah, we meet again...you...SIGN!!!!! *takes out the lazer gun he bought earlier and  
laughs evilly in a kooky way* I...i shall get my revenge on you!! If you want to live, you better tell  
me where Septhiroth is!  
....  
....  
....well?? Don't just sit there doing nothing!!  
and stop telling me "Sephiroth's Hideout ------"   
that's not helping me!!! I need to know where Sephiroth's hideout is, and that doesn't tell me anything!  
  
  
~~*back to Freya...*~~  
Freya: Ok, I guess I'll be going with you Amarant.  
  
Amarant: But I'm too cool to go with YOU.  
  
Freya:ARG!!! I don't care!! I don't care that you're to cool for EVERYTHING! sheesh.  
Now let's just go find Steiner!!  
  
Quina: Who I go with??????? No leave Quina alone!!!!  
  
Aeris:HELLOOOOOOOO I'm still here!  
  
Quina: oh. What?! NOT YOU!!!!! Quina so insulted!  
  
Freya: Where's Vivi...? Wasn't he with us too??  
  
Aeris: What?? What's wrong with me?  
  
Quina: hmph.  
  
Freya: Oh well, I'm sure we'll find him too...Let's go Amarant.  
  
Amarant: I'm to cool to...*SMACK*  
  
Freya:shuddup.  
  
Quina: I so hungry...*begins to eat nearby food*  
  
~*meanwhile...*~  
Vivi:*runs around in circles shouting* SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!!! *eats a bag of sugar* MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHHhAHAHAHAHAHHA!  
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! SU-SU-SUGAR!!!!! W-Wheeeeee! *runs into a toilet paper display knocking it over* HEEHEEHEE!  
OOOOOO! T-T-TV!!! *stops to watch a nearby tv*  
  
TV: *dun dun dun* The Super Snail Show!  
*theme song plays, then the show starts*  
*the scene is that a huge evil bendy straw is attacking a city*  
people:*unenthusiastically* ahh. help. a evil straw that's bendy....oh. no. who will save us.  
some random person: We must get Super Snail! Hurry! The snail signal!!  
other random person:*turns on a flash light and a snail shape appears*  
....*in the forest...1 mile away...*  
Super Snail: The snail signal! The city's in trouble! I must save them!  
Super Snail Speed!!!!!!!! *Zooom! the snail takes off! er, i said ZOOOM!! THE SNAIL GOES AT THE SPEED OF--oh...right...*  
*later...*  
Super Snail: Super Snail is here to save the day!!  
*the city is destroyed*  
  
Vivi: w-w-wow! Super S-S-snail s-saved the d-d-day!!! HEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHE! *eats MORE sugary stuff*  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
wow. oooh. ahhh. Maybe there'll be a part 7 soon! (translates into-   
29807349872984793289238947238930723089742098 years from now)  
  
And remember kidies, Bill,Fred,Dr.D,and Citrus Man are from www.smbhq.com/nc and i do not own them.   
And remember silly rabbits, trix are for kids!  
  
Now, gather 'round it's story--er--question time! meh!  
Will they ever find Steiner in the store?  
Will Steiner ever be normal?  
Well anyone ever know what happened to Garnet?  
How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?!  
Why is Vivi eating sugar and running around hyperly?  
..wait...well that's 'cause he ate sugar, and he ate sugar because..uhh..he ate sugar. yeah. I'm smart! yay!  
Will they find Vivi?  
Why does Barret pity the fool the doesn't drink milk? Is he Mr.T's long lost twin?  
What's Amarant gonna be too cool for next?  
Why doesn't Quina like Aeris?  
Will someone need to go to the hospital again?  
Will Kuja ever get revenge on the sign, evil death bees, and find Septhiroth?  
Will these questions ever end?  
How long can this story last?!  
When's it gonna be over? Ever?!  
Why do cows say Mooo? why?  
why?  
whhhhyyyyyyyy????????????  
*ahem* ok i'm done now.  
Tune in next time for all the answers!   
Or a bunch of answers that are insane,  
but really have nothing to do with these questions  
what so ever!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! *poof* *dissapear* *vanish*  
*the AUTHOR dissapears in RAINBOW SMOKE* 


	7. I'm Insane, Your Insane, We're all Insan...

(wow, I acctually made up a new chapter sooner than a bazillion years from the last one! amazing!)  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING!!!!! MWAJAHAHWHKWAHHAKAHKWHWKHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE!!  
*Squaresoft and the men in white coats drag me off to the happy lil' place with padded walls*  
  
REAL disclaimer: I don't own the FF7 or FF9 characters, Squaresoft does.   
blah blah blah blah blah. Not like you didn't know this stuff all ready.  
  
~!WARNING!~: If you've read this far, you may be suffering from severe insanity.   
If you were already insane, your probably REALLY REALLY insane now. I'm insane, your insane, we're all insane!!'  
YAY!  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Vivi: *thoughtful* hmmm....*takes a look at the toilet paper display he knocked over, to read the brand name.  
'Super-Duper-Super-Super-Soft-Toilet-Paper(TM)'* WHEEE HOOOOOOO! WHOO HEE HEE HOOOOOO! *jumps into the toilet paper pile*  
  
*~*Meanwhile....*~*  
  
Aries:I wanna know what's wrong with me!?  
  
Quina:hmph. Me no going with YOU.  
  
Aries: Why????  
  
Quina: Because I no want to go with you.  
  
Aries:WHY?! Tell me, ya clown thing!  
  
Quina: THAT's why!! You call Quina clown!! I no clown, I is Qu!! Named Quina.  
  
Aries: psh, that's it? err...fine.  
Let's just set aside our differences and go find the knight guy!  
  
Quina:...me no know about that.  
  
Aries: Oh, fine. I'm sorry I called you a 'clown', Quina.  
  
Quina: Much better! Ok, let's go find Steiner!   
  
~~*Meanwhile....*~~  
  
Barret: Now foo', you be needing lots more milk then that!  
*grabs ten more milk cartons and dumps them in Cloud's hands*  
  
Cloud:*tries to balance* ...woaah woaah! i'm gonna drop these!  
You take them Zidane!! *CLUNK*  
  
Zidane: ouchies! Watch where your dumping milk!! My face...YAY, er i meant ouch...!!!  
  
Barret: Now Cloud, When we get back from the store, your gonna start to take disco lessons.  
  
Cloud:uhhh...what?  
  
Barret: Disco lessons.  
  
Cloud:...di...da....duh...What?!  
  
Barret: Disco lessons.  
  
Cloud:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Milk drops all over, breaking open, spilling everywhere*  
  
Zidane: oops! I didn't do it!! *shifts eyes*  
  
Barret:Cloud!! Man!! What a waste of good milk... CLOUD!!! Your in trouble, foo'!  
  
Cloud:B-B-buuut....Zidane was holding--  
  
Barret: Your gonna get more milk now, clean this up, and you are definitly taking disco lessons now, foo'!  
  
Cloud: noo! no-oh-oh!! nooo! And don't they have people to clean up the isles! man. *glares at Zidane*  
  
Zidane uhh..heh heh heh? *shrugs nervously* uhm...I didn't do anything!  
  
Cloud: this is SOOOOO not cool beans!  
  
Barret:*Puts on an afro and begins discoing down the store isles*  
  
~*~Meanwhile...~*~  
  
Freya:I'm tired of all these meanwhiles...err...  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool for meanwhiles...  
  
Freya: Would you stop saying that?!  
  
Amarant: Whateva.   
  
Freya: hmm...let's go to this isle...  
  
Amarant: Whateva.  
  
Freya: ...woah...what happened here?! This isle's a wreak! Maybe this is where Steiner--  
  
Amarant: Whateva.  
  
Freya:*stares away from the isle*..I think I've gone insane.  
Cloud's insane. Zidane's insane. Steiner's insane, your, well, insane too--  
  
Amarant:I'm too cool to be insane.  
  
Freya: see?!? ....and and...well, Your insane, I'm Insane, WE'RE ALL INSANE!!! *rubs eyes and takes a look again*  
but............VIVI'S INSANE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  
  
Amarant: ...  
  
Vivi:WHAYHOO! *sits there dumping out boxes of assorted things. There's sporks, different foods, toothpicks....*  
  
Freya:*calms down* uhh...Vivi?   
  
Vivi:W-W-WHUUUUTT???  
  
Freya:uhm, are you feeling ok...?  
  
Vivi:*eats alot more sugar* YESYESYESYESYESYES IAMYESYESYESYESIAMSOOOOOOF-F-F-INE!!!   
IMDOINGJUSTGREATBUTOHWELLHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHE! THANKSFORASKINGTHOUGHTHATSNICEWELLIWANTMORESUGARSUGARSUGAR!!!  
  
Freya:....uhh..Vivi? How about you follow us now, and stay away from the sugar?  
  
Vivi:Awwwww,D-D-D-DoIHaveT-T-To????? OHAlrightFineRightyOhRightylalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallala  
  
Freya:*sigh* We better find Steiner SOON.  
  
Vivi:Ilikecheeseyoulikecheeseletssiiiigh-t-t-thecheeeeeses-s-song!!  
S-S-SuperSnailisheeeeretosavet-t-t-thedayyyyy!  
  
~~**Meanwhile, In front of the sign LEADING TO SEPTHIROTH'S HIDEOUT!!!!**~~  
Kuja: Not answering, eh? Well let's see if you want to keep so quiet...NOW!!  
*points the lazer gun at the sign* I'm gonna get my revenge now! AHAHAHAHAH KWEKEKEKEKE!!  
  
*some kids walk by, and throw some mud, walking away laughing*  
~SPLAT!!!!!!!~  
  
Kuja:*shrieks* MY FLUFFY, SOFT, PINK DRESS IS RUINED!! *sniffle*  
I...I..I'll take care of you later! Don't go anywhere!  
*goes to a dry cleaners*  
  
!~*Meanwhile...(that's a NEW one) in the store...*~!  
  
*Everyone ends up meeting up to one spot...And it's where Steiner is too! Oh, except for Barret.  
He discoed over to the check out line to by 100 cartons of milk, and a disco ball, and went on discoing  
all the way back home.*  
  
Freya:Aha!  
Amarant: Whateva.  
Vivi:*squeels* WMAHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE!  
  
Cloud:Hey!  
Zidane:cool beans!  
  
Aeris: Knight man!  
Quina: Look!  
  
*Everyone runs towards him, not knowing that everyone else is there, diving at Steiner.*  
  
Steiner:*high pitched* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Buttered Toast!!! We're under attack!  
  
*CRASH! BANG! BOOM!!!! CLUNK!!*  
  
Everyone:owwwwwww....  
  
Vivi:OWowowowooOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW OUCHOUCHouch!!  
Thathurtsomuchmanthathurtsobadthathurt  
yupyupyupYUPYUPYUPYUPYUPYUPYUPYUPYUP!!  
  
Zidane:*runs his head* yaaay....dangit! i mean owwww!!  
..say, what's wrong with Vivi? Did he take..pep pills?  
  
Freya: No, he was just eating alot of sugar.  
  
Vivi:YUPYUPYUPYUPYUP!   
Iwantmoremoremoremoremoremoresugarsugarsugarsugarsugar!  
yumyumyumyumyumyum!  
  
Zidane:..uhh...cool beans...  
  
Cloud: a 1, a 2, a 1, 2, 3, hit it!  
  
Cloud & Zidane: COOL BEANS!! ehehehhehe...oh hohoho ehehhehe!!  
  
Freya: I really don't know what's so funny about 'cool beans'.  
  
Amarant: Whateva  
  
Freya: grrr...i wish he'd quit saying 'Whateva'.  
  
Aeris:...I know what's wrong with him. Allow me to fix the problem!  
*hits Amarant with her staff. WHACK!!*  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool for that to of hurt. Owiez!  
  
Aeris: He was just stuck, like a record player! He's fixed now!!  
  
Steiner: Is it saaaafffee now? Can i have a taco? moo? Like cheesy underwear?   
Why's the sky green, and the grass blue, and my toes yellow?  
  
Quina: Me think he scary...  
  
Freya: Agreed.  
  
Quina: veerry scary...  
  
Freya: Steiner just seems retarded anymore..  
  
Steiner:I'm not retarded, I'm speeeeecial!!  
  
Freya: We better find a hospital, a different one, yet again. And quick!  
We must get him back to normal.  
Say, Did anyone notice that Yuffie is gone...?  
WHERE'D SHE GO!?!  
  
*Everyone shrugs*  
  
Cloud:...uhh...she'll find us.  
  
*All of a sudden alot of people appear around the ff7&ff9 characters in the store*  
  
Zidane:ahhh!  
  
Cloud: uh-oh...  
  
Vivi:HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI MYNAMEISVIVIWHATAREYOURNAMES???  
  
people:We are the grocrey store police!!   
You are all kicked out of the store for disturbing the peace,  
and making a HUGE mess! so get out now!  
*they all kick(and i really mean KICKED) them out of the store* good-bye.  
Hope you had a nice visit, please don't come back! EVER!  
  
Aeris: Well! They're rude!!  
  
Yuffie: Hey guys! What where you doing in there? I was looking for ya...  
  
Freya: We went to find Steiner.  
  
Steiner: HELLO JELLO FELLOW MELLOW WILLOW PILLOW...  
  
*A warp opens up behind Zidane, and something falls out of the warp, clunking on the ground.*  
  
Zidane:...eh? what's this? *picks up some odd looking thing* What an odd creature...  
  
~*On the other side of the warp*~  
  
Dr.D: So why is it that we are dumping a furby there?  
  
Bill:...uhm..well...  
  
Fred: Simple. They all annoyed the crap outta me.  
So why not give them a furby? An annoying little furby. *evil laugh*  
Yes, the furby well destroy them all! mwahaha!  
  
Bill: Furbies are EVIL things!!  
  
Dr.D: Isn't that a bit harsh? I mean...FURBIES?!  
  
Fred: Those people are just as bad as that Mario. Make that 100,000 Marios.  
  
Bill: Well, I'm not so sure about THAT one...  
  
Fred:Ok, so maybe not 100,00 Marios...  
  
Dr.D: I thought they were ok...  
  
Fred: Well the important thing is that they were driving me insane.  
Man, I'm glad we finally got back home.  
  
~*Back on the other side of the warp*~  
  
Zidane:...hmm..what is this creature? *pokes the furby*  
  
Furby: Heeheehee! wheeee! again, again! Furby!  
  
Zidane:hmm...furby? strange creature. *sets it down* run along now.  
  
Furby:*while Zidane isn't looking, it's eyes glow an evil red*  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
This chapter was probably a bit longer than most of them...(er i think, well  
it felt like it took longer, but maybe not.)  
  
Ok, in this chapter I was just trying to get them outta the store,   
so I can move on to a few new things. Within the next 2 chapters,   
expect to find out what Garnet's up to (this time I promise It'll say.)  
more about the furby, more about what everyone else is doing, another delightful  
visit to a hospital, christmas shopping, and err, other stuff.  
I'll probably make the next chapters more like the first few...  
(er i dunno, maybeit's starting to get a little TOO isane now. or not.   
MWAHAHHAHAHA! well, i dunno, i'll just try to make it a little less insane,   
but still isane. Just gotta keep it interestingif that's possible.)  
  
oh yes, and remember once again, Bill, Fred and Dr.Donez belong to www.smbhq.com/nc  
not to me. meh. I just feel like using them a bit in this story. But not with out telling   
where they come from of course! 


	8. FF8 characters now, too?! and...Cid meet...

Disclamer: bah.  
what? oh...er....I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!!! IIEEEE!!!   
You know where they all are from by now...  
*ahem* also including furby, or the somewhere over the rainbow song,   
or a solid gold spork studded with diamonds.   
  
*stares at the reviews* mwahahahaha! Yes, fall into my 'crazy trap'!!! MWAHAHAHA!  
All of you and your little rabbits too will be doooooommmmeeed!! er...  
did i say 'dooooommmmeeed'? I meant...uhm...(must make up something quick!)  
Insane! that's it! Insane! (dangit. that's the only word that comes to mind.   
oh well, good enough.) MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! No go! Read! Be doom--er, insane.  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Cloud: Hey what's that? *runs over to the furby Zidane dropped* oooh a strange creature!   
I'm gonna take it home! *sticks it in his pocket*  
  
~*Everyone heads for home. Wherever that is...*~  
  
Furby:*from inside of Cloud's pocket* Heeheehee! *evil furby laughs*  
  
Cloud: This thing's too noisy...*takes the furby out and chucks it*  
  
Kuja: fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaa! *dances out of the dry cleaners*  
~*CLUNK*~  
What was THAT? *scratches head and looks down* What's this?!   
*picks up the furby* hmm...  
  
Furby:wheeeee! hee hee hee...*eyes glow evilly*  
  
Kuja: ooh perfect! Cute AND evil. kwehehehehhehehe! You'll come in some use.  
yes....yes...  
*later*  
uhh...you can stop staring like that now. Please. Stop. Your freaking me out.  
The glowing eyes! AHHH! STOP!!!! *duct tapes the furby's eyes* better.  
tra la la la la la la la...*skips off with the furby* We'll get that sign to talk yet.  
Yes....we will...  
  
~*When everyone else gets home...*~  
  
Steiner:*runs in screaming* IEEEEE!!!!! GIANT PIGGY'S ARE ATTACKING!!!  
  
Cait Sith: ..uhh...what?  
  
Steiner: IEEEE!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Cait Sith: *yells in Mega phone* COULD YOU BE ANY LOUDER?  
  
Steiner:...uhmm...I DONT know...lessee... *screams VERY VERY VERY VERY loudly*  
  
Cait Sith: Darn! You weren't supposed to do THAT!  
  
Cid:...#$%@*#@^%$*@)#$^ *#^$*@&# $&*#@ ^(&!@$(&@^ #$&(@!&% $#@)*$@# ^#^#&^#(*&@ !!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zidane: O_O  
  
Cloud: *goes and gets some tea, and gives it to Cid*  
  
Cid: ...thanks.  
  
Zidane: woah, how'd you figure out that he wanted tea?  
  
Cloud: *shrugs* Good guess?  
  
Zidane: Cool beans...  
  
Barret: AHA! Cloud! I've been waiting for you, foo'.  
  
Cloud:...what?  
  
Barret: Time for those disco lessons.  
  
Cloud:....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*hours later*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Barret: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Why there's only ONE thing that will get  
you out of this, and is if a warp all of a sudden opens dumping some more  
people over here. HA! ahahahahhahahahahahhahah HA! and 'foo, that'll only  
happen when pigs fly! ...fly over the rainbow.  
  
Cloud:darn.  
  
Barret:*begins singing somewhere over the rainbow*   
  
Cloud:I don't wanna take disco lessons...noooo stop singing that!   
  
Barre:*still singing* ...Pigs fly over the rainbow...  
  
*all of a sudden it rains some, a rainbow appears, causing a FLYING pig to fly over it,  
and then a warp opens dropping some people*  
  
Zidane: wow...  
  
Cloud:YESSSS!  
  
Barret: ........man, I have to think of something that's less likely to happen next time...  
  
Cloud: WOO!!! It's my birthday! go meeeeee! it's my birthday! *dances around*  
no disco lessons! woo!  
  
*everyone stares*  
  
Cloud:...er...  
  
Cait Sith: so...*picks up his mega phone* AND WHO MIGHT YOU PEOPLE BE???  
  
Seifer: ...deaf.  
  
Rinoa: MY EARS!!! OW! Meanie!  
  
Cait Sith: uhh..  
so maybe that was a little too loud...  
So...How'd you get here?  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Cait Sith: uhh....  
  
Selphie: Er...I'll tell you.  
It all started when we were getting a mission..  
  
*flashback begins*  
  
Xu:*tells everyone about some mission while pointing to a screen in which greenish pictures  
show up, and red dots appear on, and arrows point, and other stuff like that, making  
it look more important than it really is* ...and then we all gather troops around the 'fridge   
in the kithen region and..  
  
Zell: Sounds important!  
  
Seifer: Sounds boring.  
  
Zell: But...but...LOOK AT THE SPIFFY ARROWS AND STUFF!! It just HAS  
to be important!  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Xu:...blah blah blah blah...*pointing to screen*  
  
Seifer:*YAWN*  
  
Xu: bleh blah blah-blah blah...  
  
Zell: ...hey hey hey! What's does this button do?? *pushes a button*  
*reads: ...WARP...Extra Warp Machine Property of Bill The Extra Guy..  
...who's that?  
  
*everyone is sucked into a warp*  
  
*flashback ends*  
  
Selphie: And then we were warped here.  
  
Cait Sith: uhm...yes...very interesting...yes..  
*pretending to be listening and interested*  
uhm..How 'bout we all introduce our selves now then?  
  
*everyone introduces them selves*  
  
Zell: duuuuuuuuuude....You're name's Cid too??!  
  
Cid: er....yup. What do you mean by 'too'?  
  
Zell:Just like our headmaster Cid....  
  
Zidane: And don't forget regent Cid!  
  
*the other two Cids walk out, and talk to each other*  
  
Cid:....*looks creeped out*  
  
Cid: Hello, my name's Cid, what's yours?  
  
Cid: Cid.  
  
Cid: Nice to meet you Cid. Say what's your name?  
  
Cid: &#@&*#&(*#@  
  
Cid: woah calm down...  
  
Cid: fine it's Cid.  
  
Cid: wow that's my name too!  
  
Cid: and mine!  
  
Cid:#$^&#*($#*  
........stole....my...name..ARGH!  
  
Cid: How did we steal your name?  
...maybe you stole ours.  
  
Cid: ...Shut up Cid!  
  
Cid: What?! I didn't say anything!  
  
Cid: Not you! The other Cid!  
  
Cid: oh. gotcha Cid.  
  
Cid: Got what?  
  
Cid:no no no, I was talking to the other Cid.  
  
Zidane: wow....I'm..all... confused...  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool to be Cid. or confused.  
*watches the Cids with a dazed look on his face*  
  
Freya:...*mumble* you look confused to me...  
  
Tifa:Hey Cid, Why don't you leave the other Cids alone for awhile?  
  
Cid: Why should I listen to you?  
  
Tifa: Not you, the other Cid!  
  
Cid:...me? You have no right to command the regent!  
  
Tifa: not you either!! CID HIGHWIND!!  
  
Cid:oh, right.  
  
Cid: I see.  
  
Cid: #&$#$&!!!  
...i'll gladly leave these name stealers...hmph...I need some more tea...  
  
Vivi: ..w-w-weird.  
  
Zell: Maybe that was a bad idea to introduce Cid to Cid...and..Cid.  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Cloud:...*faints from confusion*  
  
Zidane:....uh oh....  
  
Freya: Great now we all need to go to the hospital again.  
  
Zidane: YAY THE HOSPITAL!!!  
  
Freya: let's see...let's go to a different one this time.  
C'mon everyone.  
  
Cid: I'm not going if Cid is going.  
  
Cid: what? What's wrong with me?!  
  
Cid: Not you, the other Cid!  
  
Cid: oh.   
  
Cid: #^@&*^#&  
well I don't want to go if your going Cid!  
  
Cid: Then I'm not going.  
  
Cid: If Cid's not going nither am I.  
  
Cid: If you two aren't going than I am.  
  
Cid: Then we're not going!  
  
Cid: good. But I think I'll just stay here..  
  
Cid: Then we're going!  
  
Cid: What? No I'm going! I'm not letting you name stealers  
go with my friends!  
  
Cid: Then we're staying...  
  
*all the Cids end up going along*  
  
Yuffie:*humming to self* materia materia materia...  
  
Zidane:*dragging Cloud* do dee da do do dooo....hmm..sure alotta  
rocks out here...  
  
Cloud: *bump bump bump bump bump bump clank clunk*  
  
Zidane: ...what's that noise? eh...who cares...  
  
Freya: uhh...Zidane?  
  
Zidane: yes?  
  
Freya: Maybe you shouldn't be dragging Cloud like that..  
You keep dragging him over rocks---  
  
Zidane: nonsense...  
*keeps on dragging Cloud*  
  
Zell: *dissipointed look* man...it's all my fault that ALL of this happened so far...  
  
Squall:..........  
  
Seifer:...well...yes....It is. All your fault Chicken Wuss.  
  
Zell: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!  
  
Steiner: I LIKE CHICKEN!!  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Vivi: t-t-that wasn't very nice...  
  
Seifer: Oh shut up...uh....*can't think of a good name for Vivi* uhh...glowy...stick...eye...boy.  
uhm..yeah. HA.  
  
Zidane: Hey Squall! So what's it like where you guys are from?  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Zidane:.........? well?  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Zidane:...uhm...HELLO??  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Zidane: sheesh. Are you anti-social or something?  
  
Squall:.........  
((...whatever.))  
  
Zidane:well I can be like that too.  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Zidane:.........  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Zidane:.........  
  
Squall:.........  
  
Zidane:*runs over to Freya looking upset*  
  
Freya:....uh...?  
  
Zidane: Squall said "........."!!!!!!!!! Soooooooo mean....  
....hey where's Garnet?!  
  
Freya: She got lost or something like that...remember?  
  
Zidane:...oh...right...i remember precfectly. *confused look*  
*sulks* Are we almost at the hospital? I'm getting tired of dragging Cloud..  
  
Freya: (I sure hope we are...at this rate Cloud will be dead before we get there.)  
  
Zidane: huh? what'd you say? speak louder.  
  
Freya: oh....nothing....  
  
Zidane: *annoying little kid voice*...are we there yet are we there yet  
are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we...  
  
Freya:...  
  
*BUMP*  
  
Freya:*looks up and reads the sign on the building. "Hospital".* Guess so.  
*everyone walks in*  
  
People in waiting room: *stare at the large group*  
  
~*meanwhile....*~  
  
Fred: Hey, gotta camera? We should send one to spy on them...  
see what the furby's done...MWAHAHAHA!  
  
Bill:...uhm..No..I don't have a camera. Go ask Dr.Donez.  
  
Fred: Yeah good idea...C'mon, let's go ask him.  
  
*They go up to the doctor*  
  
Fred:...hey, Donez...  
  
Dr.D: *sitting in a pile...forget that, MOUNTAIN of donuts* ...yes?  
  
Bill:....oh...Hey, can I have a Donut Dr.D?  
  
Dr.D: IIEEE!!!  
No!!!  
My Donuts!!  
*grabs some of the donuts holding them close* Miiiiine....*hiss*  
  
Fred: o_O ...uhm...right....  
  
Bill: *sniffle* I just wanted one donut...  
Meany...that's no way to treat the new president of NC!!  
and....and...I remember when you guys stuck me in that dang tree  
for that Chrismas comix...JAY HOT GLUED ME TO THAT DANG TREE!!!  
And no one helped me...or Captin Churro...and then...well, he  
just fell outta the tree eventually but me...  
  
Fred: Stop your blabbin' Bill...  
*ahem* Hey, Donez--  
  
Dr.D: That's DR.Donez,*close up* Fred!  
  
Fred:....right....  
Dr.Donez, *close up* do you have a camera we can borrow?  
  
Dr.D:...yes, perhaps...*searches* ah, here you go! *hands it to Fred*  
What do you plan to do with that?  
  
Fred: you'll see...*an hour later*  
..yup...  
  
Dr.D: well?  
  
Fred:...*blank look*   
I can't use this camera for a spy cam unless it can follow people somehow!  
ah-hah...*grin* Hey Bill...  
  
Bill:...um...yeah?  
  
Fred: *pulls out some duct tape* come over here...  
  
Bill:WHAT?!?! NO!!!! YOUR NOT TAPING THAT CAMERA TO ME!!!  
GET SOMEONE ELSE!! I HAD TO WEAR DUMB ELF SHOES FOR CHRISTMAS...  
grr....dumb elf shoes! *mumbles*  
  
Fred:..err...right...  
Fine, Bill, fine. But who then...  
  
Bill:..hmm..  
  
Fred: Thinking who I'm thinking?  
  
Fred and Bill: MARIO!!!  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Tune in next time for more insanity....find out how THIS trip to the hospital goes, if  
Squall will keep being anti-social--  
  
Squall:.........  
  
...don't inturupt! anyways... *continues on* if the Cids will fight again,  
if Yuffie will find materia at this hospital, if Fred and Bill find Mario,  
and why, oh why, won't Dr.Donez share those donuts?!  
  
Dr.D: THEY'RE ALL MINE TO EAT!! DON'T EVEN THINK OF TAKING ONE!! I AM THE DONUT  
KING! BWAHAHAHA!  
  
uh...right...  
  
Bill:*starts complaning about dumb elf shoes he had to wear and the dang  
tree he was stuck in*  
  
*starts singing* on the twelfth day of Christmas NC gave to me...  
twelve Freds deathraying! Eleven Donezs Screaming! Ten Phones a Cloning!  
*blah blah blah blah...later...* four lime liftoffs! three ice picks!  
Two forts of doom! And the pidget Bill in a dang tree!  
  
Bill:*mumbles* DON'T SING THAT!  
  
...MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! *uses her AUTOR-ish powers to dissapear* *POOF*  
  
Bill: oh suuure. Leave me here. *goes home* 


	9. Zell goes on a hotdog quest. (Part 9)

*sits there playing FF8. At Fisherman's Horizen.(FH)  
Watches the, er, I guess view of FH as you  
exit the garden....yes...the..er..lovely view of  
...an old man scratching his butt??!?! O_o;;;* ...ehehehehehehehe...  
...er...oh, Hi! whee..I finally got FF8 for Christmas..(thats why I added FF8 to this story, I guess,  
kinda fun to use too.)   
oooh, and I also wrote this a while ago, as I am not currently watching the old man  
scratch his bottom. wahahahhahahaha. Nor am I playing FF8 at the moment. That was like..  
a couple months ago or more, or something.  
I have FF10 now! And I'm almost finished with it! ...kind of!  
*holds up FFX case, dramaticly, as dramatic music plays, and lightning...DRAMATICLY CLASHES!!   
dramaticly!!!! ....dramatic!!!!  
GWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!*  
er.....  
*ahem*  
Well, it's disclaimer time.  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own any ff7/8/9 characters, Dr.Donez, Fred, or Bill. Or Mario.  
Just this story. yay.  
  
  
And although you could probably maybe of figured this one out, but when  
a word is in ()'s (like this) the character is whispering or mumbling something.  
when the words are ((like this)) that means they are thinking. I'm not sure  
which way I might have used them for other chapters in this story, but that's  
how it will be from now on. Or at least in this chapter. Or maybe not. Or maybe. Or...  
Ok, well on with the pointless OOC story. Mwhahahahhahahahahha! Fun.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
~*In NC land...(um, yes. That's what I'll call it. The Neglected Character Land! NC land.)*~  
  
Fred:...Where's Mario when you need him?   
I swear he ONLY appears when you want him around the least.  
  
Bill: yeah...  
  
Fred: So we're gonna have to go look for him.  
  
*title screen appears*  
  
(Bill and Fred's Quazi-Idiotic Adventure: The Search for Mario.   
Rated 'R'. For retarded.)  
  
Bill: Stupid title screen...  
  
Fred:Well that's what we get for having to look for a stupid person.  
  
Bill: Well I guess we're off to find Mario then...  
  
Fred: Bye Dr.Donut. er, I mean...  
  
Dr.D: *hiss* MY DONUTS!!!   
  
Fred: well see ya, Dr.Dorknez.  
  
Dr.D:GRRR!! Hey! Don't call me THAT! It's DONEZ! Dr.Donez!*close up*  
*hides in the mountain of donuts*  
  
*Fred and Bill leave to look for Mario*  
  
~*Meanwhile, back to the FF7/8/9 characters, in the Hospital...*~  
  
*people gawking at the large crowd...none other than our final fantasy friends.*  
  
Seifer: Why don't you stop staring now? I know it may not be easy not   
to when we have Chicken Wuss here...but...please, if you could just not  
stare like that. You're probably hurting chicken wuss's feelings. ha ha ha!  
  
Zell: H-hey! Enough with calling me that!  
This is getting really stupid now too...'Chicken Wuss' this, 'Chicken Wuss' that...  
  
Seifer: pff. Oh look, Chicken Wuss is trying to stand up for himself! Or something.  
Pathetic.  
  
Freya: *walks up to front counter* Got someone that's knocked out here.  
  
Lady at counter:Ok. So... Are you the patient?  
  
Freya: Do I look like I'm knocked out to you?!  
  
Lady: uhh...well?? Gosh...don't ask me such hard questions!   
uhm.. are you?  
  
Freya: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT!!!  
  
Zidane: *drops Cloud on the counter*  
  
Cloud: *clunk*  
  
Freya: This is the patient.   
  
Lady: Are you sure? ...He looks fine to me.  
  
Freya: *sigh* HOW?! HE IS KNOCKED OUT!! HEAR ME?!  
  
Lady: Very well then...if you insist...  
*dumps Cloud on a strecher and nurses wheel him off*  
  
Freya: Now we just wait....  
  
~*An hour later...*~  
  
Zell: I'm hungry.  
  
Vivi: M-me too.  
  
Zell: Sure could go for a hotdog...  
  
Vivi: A what?  
  
Zell: Don't tell me you don't know what a hotdog is?!??!!?  
*freaks out* You don't know WHAT your missin' kid!  
  
Zidane: I thought we had that food...Alexandrian Hotdogs or something.  
...Steiner liked those.  
  
Vivi: O-oh yeah...  
  
Zell:...So, who wants to come with me to get a hotdog?  
...  
....well?!  
anyone?  
Squall?  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Zell: Well how about it?  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Zell: Oh fine, be that way.  
erm...Selphie? Rinoa? Irvine?  
any of you other people?!  
Dare I ask...Seifer?  
  
Seifer: Ha! Right Chicken Wuss.  
Go eat hotdogs by yourself. You're not a baby, now, are you?  
Or will you get lost on the way? That must be it.  
  
Zell: WHAT'D YA CALL ME?! bah. Oh well.Wouldn't want to go with you anyways.  
hmm...Steiner? How 'bout you? You like hotdogs, right?  
  
Steiner: moo  
  
Zell: ...  
I'll just go by myself.   
*runs off to the...er...cafeteria in the hospital. yup. cafeteria. in the hospital.*  
  
Zell: Man, what a big line...  
*later...*  
...I'd like a hotdog!  
*expects them to be sold out..*  
  
Worker: Ok, that'll be 20 gil.  
  
Zell:...awww.....dangit!   
oh, ok, 20 gil...here you go...*counts out 20 gil and begins to wonder off*  
...WAIT..WHAT'D YA SAY!!?! There's hotdogs?!  
YEEEEAHHH!!! WOOOOOOOOO, YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!  
  
Worker:...umm..yeah. *goes back to get hotdog* here ya go.  
  
Zell: woohoo! *takes a bite into the hot dog, only to about brake his teeth *  
owwwwwww!! What's this hot dog made out of?! Plastic?! yeech. I shoulda known  
better than to get a hospital hotdog.  
*leaves the hospital in search of a place   
to eat a hotdog at*  
  
~*Meanwhile, after Bill and Fred go through many stupid and dumb quests   
and mindlessly easy puzzles to find Mario...  
And then the last and hardest puzzles such as finding Mario's house, opening the door(GASP! That's one is SO hard to figure out!),  
and calling Mario, telling him that Luigi is having a big pasta party at his house.~  
  
Mario: *walks in*  
  
Mario: ...Hey, where's Luigi? Where's-a-the pasta party?  
  
Fred:...  
  
Bill: Hey Mario...We've got something for you.  
  
Mario:...Is it pasta?  
  
Bill: uhm....well...  
  
Fred: No, it's not. We have something for you do to. And there is no pasta here right now.  
  
Mario: What? Work? ....must...walk...away...from...work...  
iieee...work...bad...must avoid it at ALLLLL costs...  
  
Fred: I assure you that you'll get pasta if you do this for us.  
  
Mario: Ok-a! mmm...pasta...*drool*  
  
Bill: Here, take this camera, and er, make sure it's hidden well.  
  
Mario:*super glues it on top of his red cap*  
  
Fred: *sigh* NEVER let Mario do anything himself...  
  
Bill: oh well...Can't do nothin' about that now.  
  
Mario: Now what?  
  
Bill: follow these people. *hands him a picture of FF7/9 characters.*  
  
Mario: Who?  
  
Fred: *looks annoyed* the people in the picture.  
  
Bill: Extra Warp!   
  
*Mario falls in the warp and gets transported  
to the world the ff7/8/9 characters are in*  
  
Mario: *falls on butt* Ow-a! That-a-hurt.  
*walks around aimlessly*  
  
Fred: I'm not so sure that it was a good idea to send him...  
  
~*Meanwhile, back to Zell*~  
  
Zell: Man, I've checked, like, everywhere.  
wait...Aha! Maybe I can get a hotdog there!  
  
Mario: *somewhere near Zell* mmmm...hotdog..*drool*  
I'll follow him. Need food. Need food now. Need food...  
  
Zell:*walks in some gourmet restaurant and sits down*  
  
Mario:*walks in and sits down by Zell*  
  
Zell: ...uhhh....Who are you? Why is there a camera on your hat?  
Why....  
  
Mario: FOOD.  
  
Zell: er....Ok, you want a hotdog too?  
  
Mario: YES. FOOD.   
  
Waiter: What would you gentlemen like to eat tonight?  
  
Zell: Get us two hotdogs!  
  
Waiter: Ok...  
  
*returns later with the food*  
  
Zell: Yeah!!! ..hotd--  
WHAT is THIS?!  
  
  
Waiter: A hotdog, sir.  
  
Zell: It's covered in so much junk...*takes everything off of it so it's just a hotdog*  
There! *takes a bite* AHHHH! It's not even a real hotdog! It's tofu!! What is this?!  
Why must I be tortured so?!  
  
Waiter: That's how a hotdog is supposed to be though...  
  
Zell: No, no it's not. Come, Young Jedi, I shall show you the true meaning of a hotdog.  
The most wonderful food..EVVVEEERRR...  
  
Waiter: Huh?  
  
Mario: *eats the gourmet hotdog thingy in one bite* mmm...still hungry....got any pasta?   
oh, I see you do. I'd like to order ten of the pastas...  
  
Zell: Come, I shall show you the hotdog way.  
  
Waiter: Stay away from me! Freaks! *runs*  
  
Zell: *blink* Fine. You shall never know the true meaning of a hotdog...  
  
~*NC land*~  
  
*Bill and Fred watch Mario, along with the Doctor.*  
  
Fred: What's that idiot doing?! He's not finding who he's supposed to...  
how can we see what destruction that furby caused when he's out chasing food?!  
  
Bill: That one guy is wierd..*watching Zell* What's so special about a hotdog?  
Microwave pizza is good.  
  
Fred: I just know Mario's gonna totally screw this up.  
  
Bill: You know what..I'm hungry.  
  
Dr.D: oh, well Bill... Have one of these donuts. I have a ton of 'em! Go ahead!  
  
Bill: ok! Thanks! *takes a donut*  
  
Dr.D: AAAAIIIEEE!! MY DONUT!!! *smacks Bill's ..er..wing.(he's a bird thingy from  
Super Mario brothers 2 so..)* Give that back!!!! That's mine!!!  
  
Bill: But you said I could have one!  
  
Dr.D: What?! That must of been crazy talk...  
I'd have to be insane to say such a thing! INSAAAANE I tell ya!  
  
Bill: You should be more respectful of the president. Man, everyone's  
mean to me. I'm the president of you NC citizens!! I demand a donut!!!  
hmph. I'll just go microwave some pizza. Because I am the best pizza  
microwaver EEEVVVEEERRRRRR!  
  
Fred: Riiight...  
*stares at Dr.Donez and Bill*  
  
~*Back to Zell*~  
  
Zell:*goes on with a quest to find the perfect hotdog, with Mario following.*  
  
Seifer: *appears* Ha. Going on some stupid hotdog quest, Chicken Wuss?  
  
Zell:...Yeah. What do you care?  
......and that's not my name!! Stop calling me that!!  
  
Seifer: Whatever, Chicken Wuss. *dissapears*  
  
*later...after much traveling*  
  
Zell: Wow, look! We've finally made it! Hotdog mountain...  
they say, at the very top, lies the most perfect hotdog in the world.  
Prepare to see the most heavenly sight ever! Let's climb the mountain!  
  
*later...*  
  
Mario: *huff puff huff puff* This..is..hard work...can't climb any longer...  
  
Zell: We've only been climbing for about 30 seconds...  
  
*1 hour later*  
  
Mario: *has to be carried the rest of the way up*  
  
*at top*  
  
Zell: Finally made it! The perfect hotdog will be mine...Lo and behold, the most heavenly sight ever, the--  
  
Seifer: Hey, Chicken Wuss! Looking for this? *holds up hotdog*  
  
Zell: YES!!! Hand the hotdog over!!! Please!!! AHHHHHHH!  
  
Seifer: *eats hotdog*  
  
Zell:....NOOOOOOOOOOOO*8 weeks, 5 days, 12 hours,   
3 minutes, and 35 seconds later...*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Seifer: ha ha! Too bad Chicken Wuss.  
  
Zell: WHY?!?! why?!  
  
Seifer: ha ha ha! What a great hotdog! It--  
eech.....that hotdog was nasty tasting...  
  
Zell: YOU ATE THE HOTDOG!! GRRR!! And you didn't even like it?! *punches at Seifer*  
  
Seifer: hahahaha! You'll have to punch harder than that, Chicken Wu---WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
*tumbles down mountain*  
  
Zell:er...oops?   
(heh heh heh.)  
  
Seifer: Oh, this isn't the last time you'll hear from me!!!  
  
Zell: *sarcasticly* ooh, I'm SO scared.  
*heads back to the hospital*  
  
  
~*at hospital*~  
  
Freya: It's been hours...wonder if Cloud is ok?  
  
Zell: *enters hospital* ...  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Selphie: What's wrong Zell?  
  
Zell: Seifer ate the hotdog that I was going to eat...  
I'll never get a hotdog...and I'm starving!  
  
AUTHOR: *appears* awww...poor Zell.  
*makes 100 hotdogs appear and then dissapears*  
  
Zell: WOOOHOOOO! *freaks out* I must be in heaven! BOOYA!!!  
*tries to stuff fifteen hotdogs in his mouth at once*  
  
everyone: *stares*  
  
Zell: Whupfft?!?!  
  
Quistis: You're gonna choke on those, Zell...  
  
Irvine: *talking to Quina* So, like, do you ever think of  
eating your friends? I mean, you like to eat...and...like...  
  
Quina: Course not! Me no think of eating friends! Not ever!  
((mmm....roast Steiner served with mashed Zidane, covered with gravy,  
with a side of Vivi...and for dessert, some nice frozen Eiko   
with chocolate sauce...mmm....sound good...oh, and me no forget the frogs! yum-yum!))  
  
Irvine: Ok, like, that's good.  
*decides not to be afriad of Quina, since he got stuck sitting by it.*  
For a while I thought, you'd like, try to eat everyone or something.  
And then..like...try to eat, like, me too.  
  
Quina: Nah. Me no eat friends, or you.   
((mmm...fried Irvine...))  
  
Selphie: We've been waiting here forever!  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Selphie: This is sooooo boring, don't ya think?  
  
Squall: ...Whatever.  
  
Zidane: AHHH! IT TALKS!!!!  
  
FF7/9 characters: *jump back in shock*  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Rinoa: Sillys. Of course Squally-Wally-poo talks!  
  
Squall: *looks disgusted*  
  
Zidane: ....wow..it actually....TALKS....  
  
Squall:...Whatever.  
  
Amarant: Hey! That's my line!  
  
Freya: I thought your line was "I'm too cool for '___insert word here___'."  
  
Amarant: Yeah, well that too...but 'whatever' is my line!  
  
Freya: Are you sure it wasn't "Whateva."? Or was it whatever....  
hmm...  
  
Cid: Yeah, will guess what. Our game came first!  
  
Cid: Whatever.  
  
Amarant: grrrr....  
  
Cid: Our game is FF8! Yours is 9!! You obviously can't count at all.  
  
Cid: Psh. Well I'm sure we got the word first...  
  
Cid: FF8! FF9! We clearly were first. 8 IS BEFORE 9!!!  
  
Cid:#*$&@($#&(@!!!well FF7 rules above all...  
  
Cid: what?! You wish. FF8 is the best.  
  
Cid: Whatever. FF9 is the best there ever was.  
  
Amarant: STOP USING MY WORD!!!!  
  
Freya: Hey now, Cids, the conversation wasn't about which game was best.  
(Although we all know it was FF9.)  
  
Squall: ...Whatever.  
  
Amarant: *runs off crying like a little girl* MY WORD!!!!  
  
Cid: (_#&$*(&@#*($&@*(#&$(*#&@($&@#(&#  
  
Cid: What'd you say, rodent?! FF9 the best?! HA!  
  
Cid:.....if you said what I think you did, well, you're right Freya.  
  
Cid: ....what? grrr...  
  
Cid:*#$)*(@&$*(#@!!!!!  
  
*The Cids get in a fight*  
  
Cid: *hiss*  
  
Cid: reow!  
  
Cid: oink!  
  
Cid:.....oink?!  
  
Cid: what the??? ^#*&@*#@*^!@%#@  
  
Quistis: Hey! You three! Break it up, break it up! Stop fighting now!  
What good is it gonna do you?  
  
Cid: Well.....Zidane said he'd pay us each a dollar...  
  
Quistis: *stares at Zidane* Zidane?  
  
Zidane: *nervous grin* ehehehe?  
  
Quistis: You guys realize that a dollar isn't worth very much gil, don't you?  
  
Cid: Yes it is.  
  
Quistis: Nope.  
  
Cid: Really?  
  
Quistis: Yup.  
  
Cid: ...  
  
Quistis: Why it's only worth 10 gil.  
  
Cid: Whata rip off!  
  
Cid:@#$^&@!!  
  
*the three Cid's throw their $1 on the ground.*  
  
Quistis: Yoink!! *grabs the three dollars and runs away laughing insanely*  
Yeah! I'm going on a shopping spree!  
  
Cid: Hey! I want my dollar back!  
  
Quisits: Nya! Mine now! That's 3 million gil for me...*dissapears*  
  
Cid: @(#&(@$*&#$(*#&%*(@#&%#@(%&#*$&#@($&#@(&# (#*@$&#@(*$#( $#&$(_ #(*$#@$ &@#$#  
YOU............You said that was only 10 gil!! #@^$!!!  
  
Zidane: ooh, I still have a dollar....  
  
All Cids: Gimme!!!  
  
*they tackle Zidane and fight over the dollar*  
  
Dollar: *riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*  
  
All Cids:NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Zidane: look what you did!  
  
*another fight breaks out with the Cids and Zidane, and everyone else starts fighting for the fun of it.*  
  
*POW BANG BOOM POW POW BANG SPLAT PLOP BURP POW BOOOOOOM BANG ROAR  
uhmm...and other fighting noises!*  
  
AUTHOR:*appears*  
  
Everyone:*freezes*  
  
AUTHOR: Stop this senseless fighting this instant! Or you shall all be...((ooh, gotta make this convincing now...ummm...))  
Banished...into...uhh....the Pit o'...Furry....Cheese.....Flamingoes! ((d'oh!! great...what was that??))  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
AUTHOR: ((hmm? oh! Am I good or what? Well now that order has been restored this this fic..))  
Pitiful mortals! Bwahahahahaha!!! *dissapears in a poof of orange smoke*  
  
Squall: ....  
((Idiot.))  
  
Cid: um....I'd think she was a mortal too, so what was she talking about?!   
  
Yuffie: Well they DO have magical powers ya know...them authors....but that doesn't really mean anything...  
  
Zidane: The Pit o' Furry Cheese Flamingoes...? Huh? erm...that AUTHOR is strange.  
....O'....? What's "o'"?  
  
Freya: It means of.  
  
Zidane: o'. hehe.  
  
Freya:...  
  
Zidane: Don't ya like my pun? o'! instead of oh!  
  
Freya: nope, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  
...and this is the slowest hospital ever, I swear...  
  
Doctor: *appears with Cloud* Your friend has recovered fully. You know owe  
me 10000 gil plus taxes. Thank you.  
  
Freya: Ok. (Stupid hospital....)  
  
Doctor: Oh, and that will be an additional 500 gil for living  
in the presence of a doctor for one minute.  
  
Freya: grrr....*pays 500 gil and quickly leaves*  
  
*As everyone leaves, Yuffie examines the bowl up front*  
  
Yuffie: ...Oh, I'm not falling for THAT again! *leaves*  
  
*All of a sudden a burst of magic breaks a hole in the hospital and ChocoMog(or whatever it's called.   
Hey, I haven't played FF7 in a looooong time.) along with other materia summons come running out*  
  
Yuffie: *wide eyed* It...it...it...it...*almost has a heart attack* IT I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it WAS MATERIA THIS TIME!!!  
WHAT?! THEY GIVE THAT STUFF OUT TO LITTLE KIDS!? ITS JUST SITTING UP THERE FOR ALL TO GRAB   
AND AND AND AND AND...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! its not fair... I can't win. I just can't win.   
  
Cloud: *yells from distance*   
Yuffie, what are you being so slow about, nothing happened. Nothing at all....nothing..but...  
a big explosion followed by a bunch of summons, which all must have happened from some materia that  
was for free in there and anyone with a brain could have grabbed and it was free. Oh, and did I mention that  
it was free? ....well that's my guess at what happened. But I dunno.  
  
Yuffie: *eye twitches* WHYYYYYY??  
why must I be tortured so??  
  
Cloud: C'mon! Get over here before we all leave you!  
  
Zell: *Blinks* Say...whatever happend to that tubby plumber  
I met on my hotdog quest? hmm...  
  
~*meanwhile...*~  
  
Mario: Waiter! I'd-a-like to order a large pizza with  
ALL the toppings.  
  
Waiter: But Sir, that's your 11th pizza tonight...  
  
Mario: ....so? That's-a-only my-a-snack...  
  
Waiter: O_o;; ...ok then, Sir.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Ok this chapter was kinda stupid. (Not that the other ones aren't. heh heh heh. In a good way that is...)  
Also it's a bit long....er...well at least it seems like it is. Maybe it's not really. *shrugs* and sure, the idea of  
Zell having a hotdog quest of some sort has been used at least a couple of times before by other people, but...  
...whatever. *gets mauled by Amarant and people shouting 'THAT'S SQUALL'S LINE!!!!' and then  
Amarant attacks the people for saying that, and a big fight breaks out*  
owwwww....*shakes fist* DO I HAVE TO THROW YOU PEOPLE IN THE PIT O' FURRY CHEESE FLAMINGOES!?  
*ahem* anyways, where was I? ...furry cheese flamingoes...why did I ever say that anyways? Why furry?  
Why cheese? Why flamingoes? Oh well...the stupidness... bwahahaha!  
Well the next chapter will actually have something to do with Chapter 8, and I have ideas for the next chapter...  
if I don't forget 'em that it. Anyway I better write the next chapter soon before I forget.  
I'll get back to Kuja and the evil furby and er...some other stuff..oh yeah Kuja finding Sephiroth's hideout.   
..*blink* um...so...I'll go now. I'll go and type the next chapter...now...any second now...i'll be leaving..and...--  
  
Cloud: HANG ON!!  
  
Zidane: STOP!! Don't leave yet!!  
  
Fujin: WAIT!  
  
.....what's up with Fujin?  
  
Zidane: I dunno.  
  
Cloud: uh...?  
  
Zidane: uhm...she had to say something?  
  
Fujin: YES. *dissapear*  
  
ooook than. And why'd you two interrupt my..er..leaving-ness?!  
  
Zidane: well...  
  
Cloud: you see...  
  
Zidane: we've went this whole chapter without saying this!!  
  
Cloud: so....  
  
Zidane&Cloud: COOL BEANS!!!!!!  
wahahahahahahahaha!!!  
  
oh brother....  
  
*Zidane and Cloud dissapear*  
  
ok... well, so, I'll be leaving soon.  
and...oh forget it. I'll just go now. *dissapears*  
*re-appears*  
....o.O;; hey I just noticed I spelled Aeris's name wrong like five times  
in chapter 7....oops...heh heh... I probably made many other mistakes  
in that chapter too, and in chapter 8. I'm sure there's stuff I didn't correct.  
oh, fine, i'm going now...*hangs head* ...I see I am not wanted here...  
*sniffle* *shuffles away* ....i'm leaving, i'm leaving...*poof, goes to type chapter 10*  
  
Everyone: ......... (FINALLY. That took FOREVER...) 


	10. Randomness (Part 10)

MWAHAHAHAH! oohhh yeaah....Ive got my computer back! yay for me!  
You people weren't aware, but maybe about, say, two or three-ish   
months ago my computer crashed. I've had to use the old computer since.   
It was slow and I couldn't even get to this site with it...but now I've got   
a new computer again! (well kinda. My dad just got some new stuff to  
put in the crashed computer...or something...so it's tons faster  
now) So I've finally got a chance to type the rest of this.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the games, don't own the characters.  
blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. Same old stuff. Final Fantasy  
Characters belong to Square Soft, Mario to Nintendo, Citrus Man, Fred,  
Bill, Dr.Donez to www.smbhq.com/nc. Oh yes, and remember banging your head   
against the wall burns 150 calories per hour! mwa! (It's a weird fact I read on  
someone's site.) So next time you bang your head against a wall remember, you're  
burning 150 calories every hour!   
  
  
*On the way back the characters see a strange character...*  
  
Cloud: You guys shoulda told me the freak show was in town!  
  
Freya: Shush, that's not polite...  
  
Cloud: But...but...I mean...  
  
Zidane: Er, well look at that hair-do for example!  
  
Cloud: That's right!  
  
Zidane: And that weird scar thingy on his forhead...  
  
Zell: *eyes go wide* Ahh! It has the horns of Ifrit!!!  
  
Cloud: That's his hair!  
  
Zell: Oh....still looks like he has Ifrit horns to me...  
  
*Have you guessed who they are talking about yet?  
No? Yes? Well it was Seymour from FF10 walking out  
of that dry cleaners Kuja goes to.*  
  
Freya: You guys! I told you to shut up! Now he's staring at us!  
  
Zidane:...uh.....HI!!!! o_O;;  
  
Seymour: ....   
  
Zidane: ok than.  
  
Seymour: *continues to walk on*  
  
Zell: That guy has some freaky hair!  
  
Seymour: Do you wish to die?  
I'll gladly take you out of your misery...  
Let death be your peaceful slumber.  
  
Squall: ((weirdo.))  
  
Zell: O_O ahhh! *hides behind Squall*  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Seifer: *appears* Ha, scared chicken wuss?  
What are you hiding from?  
  
Zell: *stops hiding and begins punching at the air as usual*  
Where'd you come from?!  
  
Seifer: *Shrug*  
  
Zell: Well...uhh....go away!  
  
Seifer: Fat chance, Chicken Wuss.  
  
Zell: dang.  
  
Mario: *appears out of no where* Did someone-a say my name?  
  
Seifer: Not unless your name is fat, tubby.   
  
Mario: oh-a. ok, I'm leaving-a. *leaves*  
  
~*Meanwhile, NC Land...*~  
  
Fred:...NOOOO! MARIO!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THEM!  
  
Dr.D: It does no good to shout. He can't here you.  
  
Fred: But I thought I told you to put in a microphone thingy and  
earphones...  
  
Dr.D: Oh...I thought you were just giving me those.  
  
Fred: Where are they?!  
  
Dr.D: uh...well...  
  
Fred: You lost them didn't you?  
  
Dr.D: uhm..  
  
Fred: Oh well Forget about it...Wait...  
Where'd the furby go?! Mario was by them and...No destruction   
was being made by a furby!  
  
~*Back to the FF characters*~   
  
Quina: Who you calling fat then Seifer? me?  
  
Irvine: ...do as Rinoa does.  
  
Quina: *to Seifer* You is meanie!  
  
Seifer: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!  
  
Quina: Oh.  
  
Seymour: hmph...I'll let you live this time...  
.....Chicken Wuss. ((whatta weird name...))  
*walks away*  
  
Zell: IT'S ZELL! The name's Zell!! ZELL!!!!!  
  
Cid: The #*&^@#$ was that?  
  
Seymour: *pops by again*  
say, do you people know where I can find Sephiroth?  
  
Cloud: Oh yeah, sure, ehm...  
  
Seymour: Well?  
  
Cloud: that way somewhere...*points*  
  
Seymours: Thanks. *leaves*  
  
Yuffie: Cloud!  
  
Cloud: What? What did I do?  
  
Yuffie: Well obviously that was some   
evil character! You don't just direct him over to Sephiroth!  
  
Cloud: ....who?  
  
Yuffie: ...  
  
~*Meanwhile...*~  
  
E.T.: *reaches out with glowing index finger*  
  
Kid: *reaches out to touch finger with his finger*  
  
*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTT!!!!!*  
  
E.T.: OOPS....  
um.....E.T. phone home! *runs*  
  
Kid:*sizzle*  
  
~* Back to everyone else... *~  
  
Cloud: E.T. ...?  
  
Zidane: ok... What did THAT have to do with anything?  
  
AUTHOR: *appears*  
Are you questioning ME, the alimighty AUTHOR?  
  
Zidane: *gulp* uhh...no author, sir.  
  
AUTHOR: That's Ma'am! And...  
AUTHOR is to be all in caps! 'Cause I rule above you all!  
Got it?  
  
Zidane: Sir, yes, Ma'am!  
  
AUTHOR: DON'T BE STUPID! -.-;;  
  
Zidane: ....yes miss AUTHOR...  
  
AUTHOR: This time I'll let you off easy.  
But next time...  
let's just say...The pit o' furry cheese flamingoes is waiting for you!  
  
Zidane: the who?  
oh yeah..THEM...  
  
AUTHOR: Yes...THEM...  
  
Cloud: ...who?  
  
AUTHOR and Zidane: *like mind-less zombies* THEM...  
  
Cloud: ...THEM...?  
  
AUTHOR and Zidane: YES, THEM...  
  
Cloud: WHO'S THEM!??!  
  
AUTHOR and Zidane: THEM....  
  
Cloud: WHO?!  
  
AUTHOR and Zidane: THEM...  
  
Cloud: THEM?!?!?! WHAT??!?! WHO???  
  
AUTHOR and Zidane: ...THEM...  
  
Cloud: er, ok. STOP WITH THE FREAKYNESS!  
  
Zidane: ok.  
  
Cloud: Good. Cool beans.  
  
AUTHOR: NOOOO! NEVER!!! I'LL NEVAH STOP WITH DAH FREAKAYNEZZ!  
THEM WILL GET YOUZ ALLLLLLZZZ! *dissapears in a poof of...rasins.*  
  
Amarant: I'm too cool for THEM.  
  
Cid:....what the? Rasins??? #$@&^!!!  
  
AUTHOR: *reappears in a poof of baby powder* oh, that.  
uhmm...I ran out of smoke bombs from fourth of July...  
*dissapears in poof of flour*  
  
Cid: ...well why rasins of all things? I hate rasins...  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Seifer: uhmmm...ya know what? I'll be leaving now.  
  
Zell: GOOD! LEAVE! BE GONE!!!!!  
  
Seifer: Well I will Chicken Wuss. *runs*  
  
~*Later....  
Everyone gets back...to..er..home. Wherever that is. Who knows,  
who cares. Be confused.*~  
  
Barret: Yo Foo's!  
  
All: Hi Barret.  
  
Cloud: Wait...How did ALL of you know who he was?  
Some of you never met Barret yet!  
  
Zell: uh...  
  
Selphie: I KNOW! I KNOW!! I KNOW--  
  
Squall: .........  
  
Irvine: Like, because--  
  
Rinoa: It's fairly obvious, I mean--  
  
Cloud: Say uhh...*subject change* Why is it that all these Cids are here anyways?  
  
Rinoa: Meanie! You asked us a question and don't even let us answer!  
  
Cloud: ANSWER MY QUESTION NOW OR FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FURRY TOUPAE!  
That I bought from ....Wal-Mart!  
  
Freya: Puh-lease...  
  
Zell: Now really, of ALL things Cloud...This is REALLY stupid.  
  
Cloud: Now i know i'm not bald, so you might wonder why I have  
a toupae...  
  
Zell: No, not really...   
  
Cloud: Oh c'mon! I bet you're all wondering...whhhyyy...  
  
Zel: Nah, not interested at all.  
  
Cloud: oh...*sniffle* I see...  
But anyways. Why are all these Cids here? I mean...they aren't really that  
important to our games--  
  
Two of the Cids: Hey! What do you mean not important!?  
  
Cid: HEY! I'M ONE OF THE 'MAIN' CHARACTERS!! #$&@($&#$@#$&*@#!  
  
Cloud: oh yeah. heh heh heh. Of course your here, Cid Highwind.  
As an important character...  
  
Cid: Of course. I'm important....  
  
Cloud: But still...  
  
Cid: Uhm...wait, why am I here anyways?  
oh yeah...There's an airship convention going on!  
  
Cid: Yeah, that's it.  
  
Cid: Really? I'm goin' to that! But..why'd no one tell me 'til now?? @#^$@#!!!  
  
Zidane: Who's all going to this convention?  
  
Cid: Um...let's see...me...Cid...Cid...and...  
*thinks* Oh yeah let's not forget Cid. *looks at a list*  
  
Zidane: uh...are you sure this isn't a Cid convention?  
  
Cid: It's not! Really! *checks list* uhm...we got lots more people!   
like...uhm....uhhh...and...  
erm....don't forget...uh....  
  
Zidane: See it is too! Gimme that list.  
  
Cid: ok...  
  
Zidane: *looks at list* let's see...Cid...Cid..Cid...*later* Cid...  
Sheesh, how many Cids are there?   
It's not possible for there to be THIS many Cids is it?  
  
Cid: Hey give me back that list!  
  
Zidane: Alright regent...  
  
Cid: It's not a Cid convention...  
  
Zidane: Whatever you say.  
  
Cid: It's an Airship convention!  
  
Zidane: ...Whatever.  
  
Rabid Squall Fan Group: HIIISSSSSS!   
  
Zidane: ......yeah, i know. Squall's line.  
  
Amarant: NO! MINE!!!  
  
Rabid Squall Fan Group: hiiissss *all foam at their mouths and begin chasing Amarant*  
  
Amarant: AHHHHHHHH!  
  
Zidane: O_O  
  
Cloud: Ok then...  
  
Kuja: *skips by in a pink tutu holding the furby--who is also in a pink tutu.   
He's on his merry lil' way to the sign. You know the one.   
The one that says "Sephiroth's Hideout ------"*  
  
Quina: *Screams* AHHH! IS GIRLY MAN! KUJA! *runs away*  
  
Cloud: ...say, whatever happened to that Garnet person?  
  
Zidane: ...who?  
  
Freya: Ya know...Garnet...THE PERSON YOU'RE MARRIED TO!  
  
Zidane: I'm married?  
  
Freya: -_-;  
  
~*Meanwhile.....in a place called Termina...w/ Silver-Star's fic theme...*~  
  
Garnet: ...huh? Now where am I?   
  
Link: YOU! YOU HAVE EPONA!  
  
Tatl: That's a bird for one thing...  
  
Link:Yeah, you're right...  
Well then...YOU! YOU HAVE MY SKITTLES!   
*foams at mouth, has VERY high skittles craving*  
  
Garnet: what? no! o.O;;  
  
Link:Darn...I should have known better...  
  
Garnet:hmm. well I'm obviously in the wrong fic.   
Stupid chocobo got me lost again...  
  
Link: skittles...need....*stares at Garnet*  
GIANT SKITTLE!! *sees a hallucination of a giant skittle*  
  
Garnet: ahhh! Get away! I am NOT a skittle!!!  
  
Link: *chases Garnet* COME BACK SKITTLE!!!  
  
Tatl: o_O; um, ok.  
  
~*Back to everyone else...*~  
  
Zidane: Say, Eiko's not here either. YAY! er...I mean...   
Wonder what she's up to...  
  
AUTHOR: *appears* ah, I can look into that....BWAHAHAHA HAHAHAH  
AHAHAHHA AHAHHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHHAHAH *cough* HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
*poof, dissapear*  
  
~*Meanwhile....*~  
AUTHOR: *appears*  
Hey Eiko..*snicker* ....want some..er...candy?  
  
Eiko:....CANDY!! Yeah! I want some!  
  
AUTHOR: *Hands Eiko ten strips of the Cool Mint Listerine Oral Care Strips*  
  
Eiko: *eats all of them at once*  
  
AUTHOR: WAHAHAHAHA! *watches Eiko make faces* fun.  
  
Eiko: AHHHHH! IT BURNS!!! AHhHHH! AHHHhhHhHhhHHHh!  
*runs in circles* WATER! *drinks water, but it doesn't help the overly mintyness.  
In fact...it..MAKES IT WORSE! WAHAHHAHA!*  
  
AUTHOR: mwa!*dissapears in a poof of M&Ms*  
  
AUTHOR: *reappers, looking around suspisously, and then eats the   
M&Ms off the ground, then walks away.*  
  
~*Meanwhile (with the actual link in the OOT game)*~  
Gannondork...erm...I mean Gannondorf: awwww, come here clefairy, your so cute!  
*makes a kissy face at the pokemon*  
  
Link:*walks in to defeat Gannon only to see this.* O___o;;  
  
~*Meanwhile...*~  
Kuja:*arrives at the sign* ooohhh yeahhh....REVENGE TIME!  
YOU STUPID SIGN!  
  
Seymour: *walks by*  
  
Kuja:DIE STUPID SIGN DIE!!! C'MON FURBY! DO SOMETHING!  
  
Seymour: ...huh?  
  
Kuja: KEKEKEKEKEKEKE!  
  
Seymour: um...what are you doing?  
  
Kuja: This sign! It won't tell me where Sephiroth's hideout is!!  
  
Seymour: But--  
  
Kuja: EEEE!!! STUPID FURBY! *throws it at the sign*  
  
Furby:*while in air* wheeeeeeeee!  
  
*clunk*  
  
Furby: Again, again!  
  
Kuja: WHYYYYY WON'T YOU TELL ME YOU RETARED SIGN?  
  
Seymour: But the sign--  
  
Kuja: yeah, I know. It's stupid.  
*picks up the furby*   
  
Seymour: but...  
  
Kuja: DIIIIIIEEEE! *kicks the sign* ahhh! I stubbed my toe!   
AHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Seymour: I give up...*walks past Kuja for a little while,   
and enters the building that is Sephiroth's hideout*  
  
Kuja: ATTACK FURBY! ATTACK!!!  
  
Furby: *shoots death rays from its eyes*  
  
Kuja: yeah!  
  
*the ray somehow bounces off the sign and hits Kuja*  
  
Kuja: yay! er....OW!  
man, this is tough. The sign used some kind of  
reflect magic or something!  
grrr...stupid clever secretive sign...  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
(*can't think of anything to end chapter with, so just cuts it off there*)  
Why doez Zidane have a furry toupae? What's the use? Will Kuja EVER   
figure out just where Sephiroth's hideout is? Will he ever defeat the  
Evil sign? How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?  
  
uhhhh....yeah. well that's all I can think of for now. wheee.   
For now I might just be out of ideas. (*GASP* perhaps writers block?! I dunno.)  
eh...if you want, give suggestions in a review...something for them to ruin--er  
....I mean...something for a plot or something. Somewhere for them to visit or...  
...well whatever. Well I'm sure I'll come up with some more stuff...infact..I kind  
of have some ideas already...er...oh well. Suggest if you want anyways! =P  
*poof, dissapear* 


End file.
